Snot Bubble Football

Epic Showdown?

2012-01-27T19:05:00.001-06:00

We are entering Pro Bowl Weekend. The biggest waste of time and energy the NFL has to offer. The game every player wants to be invited to, but nobody wants to play in. Blech. I shan't (a great, underrated word) waste my time on such fluff.

Onto the good stuff.

I've gotta admit, I'm really looking forward to the Super Bowl this year. There are a few reasons.

First, I don't have to work... which is a huge plus. I can actually enjoy a "beverage" or two during the game, if I choose to do so.

Secondly, I don't have to pray on my hands and knees that the damn Packers don't win it all (didn't do me much good last year, did it?).

Third, I think it is going to be an epic showdown. This could actually be a Super Bowl that will live up to all of the hype. (Now watch, it will end up a blow out).

I've taken a few minutes to look up some interesting stats on these two teams... and it is amazing how closely they match up. But, first a little comic relief:

From my friends over at katchop.com, certifying that Eli Manning "owns" the Green Bay Packers.

Okay, back to business.

All I've heard this season is how bad the Patriots defense is. Prior to this Super Bowl, the lowest ranked defense to make it to the big dance was the 25th ranked New Orleans Saints in Super Bowl XLIV.

Guess what? This Super Bowl will "feature" the two lowest ranked defenses to ever appear in the championship game.

The Patriots are the 31st ranked defense in the league in total yards allowed; they are 15th in total points allowed.

But this just in: the Giants are the 27th ranked defense in total yards allowed and 25th in total points allowed.

Both defenses have looked very good in the playoffs, but they resembled porous membranes during the regular season. Of note, that horrible Patriots defense actually gave up 58 fewer points than the Giants defense. Yes, this is a bit skewed because the Giants played a tougher schedule throughout the season. But you can only play who you play, right?

Looking at specifics, the Patriots really do not look that bad compared to the Giants:

Sacks:

Patriots: 40

Giants: 48

Interceptions:

Patriots: 23

Giants: 20

Altogether, the takeaway/giveaway differential for the Giants was +7. It was +17 for the Patriots (only two other teams in the NFL had a better differential than the Patriots).

Offensively, the leading rushers for both teams were almost identical (note that Bradshaw missed several games this season due to injury) -

Green-Ellis (NE): 667 yards

Bradshaw (NYG): 659 yards

Both teams each had two 1,000 yards receivers.

Patriots: Welker (1,569 yards - 2nd in NFL) | Gronkowski (1,327 yards)

Giants: Cruz (1,536 yards - 3rd in NFL) | Nicks (1,192 yards)

Tom Brady passed for 5,235 yards. Eli Manning missed the 5,000 yard plateau by just 67 yards (4,933).

Both Brady and Manning are tied for the longest pass in the league this season. Both completed a 99 yard strike.

Brady averaged 8.6 yards per pass attempt. Manning averaged 8.4 yards per attempt.

Brady was sacked 32 times. Manning was sacked 28 times.

When these two teams played back in November, it was a 0-0 tie at half time. But in the fourth quarter, the teams combined for a field goal and four touchdowns(!), with the Giants winning on a Manning-to-Ballard TD pass with just 14 seconds remaining.

Will the re-match be just as good?

Well, "That's why they play the game." You can never know what will happen until the ball is kicked off. Injuries. Turnovers. Penalties. Execution. Coaching decisions. Play calling. Officiating. And yes, some times just dumb luck. All of these play a factor in a game.

The two head coaches are experienced in championship games. They have won championship games. They know each other well. Both teams will be prepared for anything.

My feeling is this will be a pleasure to watch. It's exactly what football is about: it is the game at the highest level and exactly why I love this sport.

Footnote:
Interestingly, the Patriots will wear their home blue uniforms, the Giants will wear their visiting white uniforms, just as they looked in Super Bowl XLII when the Giants ruined the Pats' pursuit of perfection. Hmmmm....

A Classic Championship Weekend!

2012-01-24T21:58:00.001-06:00

The Super Bowl is set.

The Conference Championship games did not disappoint. What more can I say? I am thankful for the fact that I wasn't a fan of any of the four teams involved - I mean, the "Fan Stress" scale was a 10 out of 10. I can empathize with Patriots, Giants, Niners and Ravens fans. A few short years ago when my Vikings were playing in the NFC Championship game, I admit I had to walk away from the t.v. a couple of times. I just couldn't take it.

The Forty-Niners met the same demise as my Vikings did in 1998. Lost at home in overtime. Oh, the humanity! Trust me, Niners fans, this will leave a bitter taste in your mouth for years to come. At least your team has won multiple Super Bowls, so the amount of sympathy I feel for you is limited. But it is a bitter pill to swallow.

Bill Belichick was the defensive coordinator for the Giants when Scott Norwood was wide right in the 1990 Super Bowl. Now he's the head coach for the Patriots when Billy Cundiff was wide left.

His own kicker, Adam Vinatieri, was absolutely clutch when he had to be.

Must be wonderful to be upwind from the Valley of Farts every single time.

But I digress. My envy gets the best of me some times.

And we now have the epic re-match.

Both teams have been there and done that. No deer in the headlights for this Super Bowl. Two Super Bowl-winning head coaches. Two Super Bowl MVP quarterbacks. Man, this could go either way.

The last time these teams met in the Super Bowl it really felt like David versus Goliath. I really don't get that vibe this time. I'm at the point where I do not doubt the Giants ability to beat anyone at anytime. I mean, they dominated a good Falcons team. They pounded the top-seeded Packers at Lambeau. They beat the second-seeded 49ers at Candlestick. The weather can be cold, it can be wet, it can be muddy. The Giants find a way to get it done.

And Victor Cruz is just unbelievable. The football powerhouse University of Massachusetts should be very proud.

Meanwhile, the Patriots have multiple future Hall of Fame players and coaches going after yet another championship. They've played in four Super Bowls since 2001 and they've won three of them. This is their fifth appearance in 11 seasons. They obviously know how to get the job done. And you can be certain they will take nothing for granted against the Giants this time. (I personally thought they were a little complacent in the '07 Super Bowl. Going undefeated can do that to you.)

It promises to be a good one. Much more coming...

NostraSamus Predicts... Conference Championship Prognostications

2012-01-18T12:05:00.001-06:00

The Venerable NostraSamus - "Foresight is hindsight if you are walking backwards."

Last week, NostraSamus had a terrific Saturday and a horrific Sunday. But, all things considered, if he was a D-1 football team, his 3-5 record so far this post-season would still get him in a bowl game.

The conference championships are upon us and the only thing we know for sure is that there will be a repeat Super Bowl champion this year.

Both games can easily go either way. I suppose that can be said of every NFL game. But NostraSamus's job is to peer into the Crystal Ball and prognosticate the future. And what does it reveal??

AFC Championship:
If you missed my Facebook post, I revealed an extraordinary stat earlier this week: the Patriots defeated 13 teams in the regular season. Not a single one of those teams ended their season above .500. After digging deeper, I noticed that two of the Pats' three losses came against teams with winning records (Steelers and Giants).

Put another way: of the Patriots' 16 games this season, they faced just two teams with winning records. No wonder New England is in the AFC Championship game!

After these facts came to my attention, everything tells me to change the pick I'm about to make. But I gotta keep it real and maintain my virtue.

The Brady Bunch - Tom, Gronk, Hernandez, Welker, Branch go toe-to-toe against Lewis, Suggs and the boyz. This promises to be an epic match-up. I've no doubt defenses win championships. Two weeks ago I saw North Dakota State beat Sam Houston State with a killer defense and a couple nights later I saw Alabama do the same to LSU.

But if there are keys to this game, they are on Baltimore's offense. If Ray Rice is "on" the Ravens will win. If Joe Flacco is "off" the Ravens will implode. The Pats defense has done a wonderful job of stinking up the joint this year, but all bets are off once the playoffs start.

So I'm picking New England to win. Why? For one thing, I do not want to see the lazy, overrated Bryant McKinnie bestowed with the honor of playing in a Super Bowl. Also, I'm not sure if Baltimore has an answer for all of New England's offensive weapons.

And I picked the Patriots to go to the Super Bowl before the playoffs started and I am ~~a man of honor~~ stubborn.

Baltimore 20
New England 29

NFC Championship:
Okay, for the THIRD time this post-season, I'm going to say it: I don't think the Giants can capture lightning in a bottle twice, although they are doing a hell of a job of trying. It is pretty amusing when a team that's one game above .500 sneaks into the playoffs on the very last game of the season and then goes on a hot streak.

But I really do think the Giants meet the end of the road at Candlestick... that is, if the power at the stadium stays on.

I'm the first to admit it's difficult to pick against Nicks, Cruz and Manning; they have been ridiculously good this post season. But I think the Niners staunch run defense stops Bradshaw and Jacobs and forces Eli into forcing throws he wouldn't normally attempt; and a couple of turnovers is all it will take in this type of game.

If Alex Smith does another Steve Young impression, the words "clutch" and "gamer" will start to be associated with his name. Actually, I'm happy for the guy. He's living proof what can happen to a player if a franchise gives him time to mature - a rarity these days in the NFL.

In the end, it will be that Niners D that propels them into the Super Bowl, although it is tough picking against the hottest team in the playoffs right now. This is going to be a fun one to watch, folks.

NY Giants 17
San Francisco 23

A Step Forward, But More Lame Excuses

2012-01-13T22:10:00.001-06:00

NCAA President Mark Emmert seems to be warming to a four-team NCAA football playoff format. He said it seems like a "sound" idea.

It's a start, but still leaves much to be desired. President Emmert does not, however, advocate a 16-team format and the ~~excuses~~ arguments against such a system are lame:

"Moving toward a 16-team playoff is highly problematic because I think that's too much to ask a young man's body to do. It's too many games, it intrudes into the school year and, of course, it would probably necessitate a complete end to the bowl system that so many people like now."

Here's how you fix it, Mr. President.

First of all, it's not "too much" to ask a young man's body to do. Seriously? These guys are conditioned athletes. Furthermore...
Why isn't this a problem for FCS football players? Or maybe these players are just in better shape than the BCS wussies?

It's "too many games" and "intrudes on the school year"???

First of all, are you telling me the college basketball season doesn't intrude on the school year?

Secondly, if you think there would be "too many games," then get rid of those stupid first four meaningless games of the season and begin the season with a bang with conference games. Problem solved.

Lastly, it does not "necessitate a complete end" to the current bowl system.

Each playoff game is a bowl game. Everyone wins. I suggested this years ago! Problem solved.

Nobody listens to me. Damn it.

The Crystal Ball, Divisional Weekend

2012-01-12T08:09:00.000-06:00

It's divisional playoff weekend... and after looking at these games, I've decided flipping a coin might be just as useful when it comes to prognosticating the outcomes.

Yes, there are four very intriguing match-ups this weekend. Here's where That Damn Sam picks 'em all wrong...

Saturday's games

New Orleans 24

San Francisco 27

Over the Christmas holiday, my father-in-law asked me who I thought was going to play in the Super Bowl. I bravely (or stupidly) answered, "Niners and Patriots." So it's time to man-up and stick with that prognostication. I am more convinced than ever that defense wins championships and San Francisco has got one of the best in the league. But is it good enough to beat the Saints? Hey, I've doubted the Niners all year long and they keep proving me wrong. Why stop now?

Denver 17

Patriots 51

And just like that, Tim Tebow is overrated, he doesn't belong in the NFL and Denver needs to find a "real" quarterback next fall. That's what the talking heads are going to be flapping their jaws about on Monday morning, because you're not allowed to have bad game - especially if you're Tim Tebow. I think the magic comes to an end Saturday evening. Josh McDaniels knows Tebow as well as anyone and will help Bill Belichick dismantle him. Denver's defense will have no answer to Brady, Welker, Hernandez, Gronkowski and Deion Branch - who always seems to play his best in the post-season.

Sunday's games

Houston 29

Baltimore 21

Football is all about resiliency, and Houston has been the epitome of the word this season. One starter goes down, the next in line steps up and plays lights out. It's a team effort and I just have a vibe about Houston. I know the Ravens beat the Texans earlier this season, but beating a team twice in one season is difficult to do, especially a team with the kind of talent Houston has. Houston has a very underrated defense and if Andre Johnson and Arian Foster stay healthy, I think Houston wins this one.

NY Giants 28

Green Bay 31

I am sooooooo tempted to take the Giants in this one. Oh, Temptress, leave thy presence! The Giants are getting hot at the right time, but I still don't think they can catch lightning in a bottle twice. I think this will be a very entertaining game to watch, and I won't be shocked if the Giants actually win. Besides, I despise the Packers. Always have. Always will. And I hate that I'm picking them to win. But I am.

A new "National Champion"

2012-01-10T18:16:00.001-06:00

"Settle it on the field."

"That's why they play the game."

Can I think of any more cliches to mock the BCS system?

Monday night was a perfect example of why a playoff format in D-1 football is needed.

I despise the BCS system, so I couldn't be more thrilled with Alabama's ~~victory~~ total domination over LSU in ESPN's hyperbolic "Game of the Century" (gimme a break!).

Even though both teams prepared for this game for 40+ days, LSU looked like they didn't even belong in the "national championship" game.

Forty days? Say, you could squeeze a lot of playoff football into 40 days... but somehow a playoff system would make the season too long for the student athlete - that's NCAA's official position. Even though the FCS finds a way to make it work just fine and to great effect.

But I digress.

Doesn't it make you wonder how fantastic D-1 college football could be using a playoff format? Wouldn't it have been fun to see Boise State and Oklahoma State and Stanford and Oregon and Arkansas all in the mix? Who knows what would've happened!

I've heard it argued that a playoff system would render the regular season meaningless. And I've still yet to understand why.

I've heard it argued that a playoff system would interfere with the conference championship games.

Why is a conference championship even necessary?

Shouldn't the regular season be used to determine a conference champion? (and suddenly, the regular season is no longer useless!). Why must there be an extra game played to determine a conference champion after an entire regular season has been played?

And if a conference is truly that big, it needs to be downsized.

Long story short, BCS football needs to be entirely revamped. Teams are leaving and joining conferences left and right attempting to jockey for position in a major BCS game. A sweeping facelift is needed for the sport.

I'm not saying eliminate the bowl season. You can still have your crappy teams with losing records play in the Kraft Fight Hunger Bowls and Famous Idaho Potato Bowls and New Era Pinstripe Bowls.

But if you want to crown a legitimate, deserving "national champion," let it be settled on the field in a national playoff format. Not by a computer deciding who should play who for all the marbles.

Football doesn't - and shouldn't - work that way.

National Champions!

2012-01-08T21:10:00.000-06:00

I have to say this was the most exciting weekend of football I've ever experienced.

The North Dakota State Bison won the FCS National Championship in a terrific, hard fought game over Sam Houston State. I sort of adopted the Bison when I married my wife more than 15 years ago - Bison blood runs very deep in her family - and it was a thrill to watch these kids (many of them from small high schools throughout Minnesota and North Dakota) take home that trophy.

They say great teams find a way to win. Great teams are aggressive and take calculated risks and the Bison epitomized this notion on Saturday.

At halftime the momentum was in Sam Houston State's favor. The Bison trailed 6-3 and they played a very poor first half of football, losing a fumble, throwing an interception and having a punt partially blocked.

In their first possession in the third quarter, the Bison offense was stymied again, another three-and-out series. It was 4th and 4 and the Bison lined up for yet another punt.

But what we didn't know was this: punter Matt Voigtlander had been given the green light to audible into a fake if he saw something. Voigtlander, a running back in high school (Lino Lakes, MN), indeed saw something. Before Sam Houston State knew what was happening, Voigtlander took off 27 yards down field and just like that, you could feel the momentum shift.

The Bison smelled blood and took advantage of this sudden surge in momentum. The next play was a screen pass to RB DJ McNorton who followed some tremendous downfield blocking and took the ball 39 yards for a touchdown.

I didn't know it at the time, but that's all the Bison would need.

The Bison defense played incredibly well - in fact, it was a clinic in discipline - and shut down the most explosive offense in the FCS. A huge interception by LB Travis Beck (from Munich, ND, population 210... as in 210 people) in the fourth quarter set up the Bison for another touchdown and that sealed the deal.

What an exciting game!!

In the meantime, my Wild Card prognostications weren't exactly "on." I got just one game right, but I did so in superb fashion (if I don't say so myself). Not only did I pick the Saints to win, I predicted the score almost exactly right.

I also predicted the Broncos/Steelers match-up would go into overtime. I just picked the wrong team to win... and that's surprising?

The Crystal Ball, Wild Card Weekend

2012-01-05T17:30:00.000-06:00

Wild Card weekend is almost upon us and it's time for That Damn Sam's Crystal Ball Wild Card Prognostication.

Now for those of you who may be new to reading my blog, you must understand that I have been wrong before. ~~A lot.~~ ~~An awful lot.~~ Okay, I'm wrong way more than I'm right. But what's the fun of watching football if you can't put on that funky Nostradamus hat now and then and see where it takes you?

So here we go...

Saturday's games:

Cincinnati 28

Houston 23

Both teams match up very well, right down to the rookie quarterbacks. Andre Johnson is supposed to be back, but my feeling is it's not a matter of "if" but of "when" that hamstring acts up again. Arian Foster will rush for over 100 yards and a TD, but Cedric Benson will be his checkmate. I see A.J. Green establishing himself on the national stage Saturday (if he hasn't already). To me, he's the wildcard in this wildcard match-up. Besides, I want to see Marvin Lewis win a playoff game. I love that guy.

Detroit 27

New Orleans 44
The Saints are on a terror. A lot of people have forgotten they have only lost three games this season, although two of those losses, inexplicably, came to the Buccaneers and Rams. But they are on an eight game winning streak and I don't see it ending on Saturday. These are not my father's Lions. Detroit has become respectable, and they have got some big time play makers; they are not going to roll over and die, but the Saints have been there and done that. Post-season experience will pay off in the end.

Sunday's games:

Atlanta 31

NY Giants 21

Okay, let's not get carried away here. The Giants have lost five of their last eight games. Their three wins in the past eight weeks have been against a bad Jets team and and against an equally bad Cowboys team twice (no thanks to Jason Garrett). Everyone has jumped on the Giants bandwagon because this feels similar to their magical '07 season. Can they capture lightning in a bottle twice? I'm going to say no. The Falcons have too many weapons.

Pittsburgh 19

Denver 16 (OT)
No Mendenhall, an inactive Ryan Clark and a gimpy Roethlisberger will make this game closer than anyone is thinking. The Broncos' defense will keep it close and Tim Tebow will do it again, tying it up in the fourth quarter, just to piss off his critics. The Steelers win it in overtime in a very entertaining and surprisingly close game.

Snot Bubble Football's 2011 Awards!

2012-01-03T12:14:00.001-06:00

Believe it or not, I still keep a blog, although most of my football thoughts are being channeled through my Snot Bubble Football Facebook page these days.

It's much easier for me to zip little thoughts to Facebook as they travel through my brain, rather than to sit down and write a thought-out blog, entirely because I have a 2 year-old boy who is infatuated with the computer and will not allow me a minute of time to type anything.

But despite the distractions buzzing around me, I'm determined to continue my blog into 2012. A lot is happening in the NFL right now and there is never a lull in the action (well, except when there is a lockout).

Before I continue... the new overtime rules will be enforced with the playoff games this week. Basically, it goes like this: If Team A kicks a field goal in the first possession of overtime, Team B gets a possession. If Team A scores a touchdown in the first possession of overtime, the game is over and Team B does not get a possession. I think I've got that right.

Anyhow, I wish these rules were in place all season long, not just for the playoffs. The game should be played with the same rules all year long. That's my opinion.

Okay, now for the moment you've all been waiting for (or maybe not...), it's time for Snot Bubble Football's 2011 Awards.

There are seven categories: Most Surprising and Most Disappointing in each of these three categories: Quarterback, Running Back and Wide Receiver... and the biggie, the "Shut Yo Face Award," given to the biggest idiot in the NFL.

Most Surprising QB (2010 winner: Josh Freeman, Buccaneers)
Cam Newton, Carolina Panthers.

When I'm wrong, I man up and admit it (unlike any puke you see on ESPN or NFL Network). And I was off-the-charts wrong about Cam. I thought he would fall flat on his face in the NFL. Well, I'm eating those words with a fork and spoon. Not only did Newton break Peyton Manning's rookie record for most passing yards in a season, he also accomplished the following:

Most passing yards by a quarterback in debut game (422)
Most passing yards by a quarterback in first two games (854)
Most passing yards by a rookie in a game (432)
First quarterback in NFL history to pass for more than 400 yards in first career start
First quarterback in NFL history to pass for more than 400 yards in first two career starts
Fastest player to throw for 1,000 yards
First rookie in NFL history to throw for 10 touchdowns and run for 10 touchdowns in a season.
Most rushing touchdowns in single season by a quarterback (13)
First player in NFL history with 4,000+ pass yards and 10+ rush TDs in a season
First player in NFL history with 4,000+ pass yards and 500+ rush yards in a season
Most total touchdowns by a rookie NFL player: 35 (21 pass, 14 rush)

I usually try to keep it clean here on Snot Bubble Football, but, indeed, that deserves a "Holy Shit!" Well done, Cam. Well done.

Most Disappointing QB (2010 winner: Donovan McNabb, Redskins)
Sam Bradford, St. Louis Rams

Channeling my inner-Vikings fan, I'd like to give McNabb an encore presentation of this award. Instead, I'll resist the temptation and give it to a player I thought would have a break out season, Sam Bradford. Sam missed six games this year, but even when he was on the field he didn't look like the rookie phenom he was in 2010. He ended up throwing for just six touchdowns all season long (to his credit, he only threw six INTs in 10 games as a starter) and barely broke 2,000 yards passing. I still have faith in Bradford. I think he'll be a solid NFL quarterback, but this year was a huge disappointment.

Most Surprising RB (2010 winner: Peyton Hillis, Browns)
Marshawn Lynch, Seattle Seahawks

With a tip of the hat to DeMarco Murray, I've got to give this to Lynch - who sort of became a household name this year with the whole "Beast Mode" thing and an unusual craving for Skittles (which will undoubtedly turn into a nice little promotional opportunity for Marshawn). Lynch surprised almost everyone this season with over 1,200 yards rushing and 13 total touchdowns, both of which are career best. He's resurrected his career in the Pacific Northwest, for sure.

Most Disappointing RB (2010 winner: Shonn Greene, Jets)
Rashard Mendenhall, Pittsburgh Steelers

I shouldn't kick a dude when he's down. Mendenhall tore his ACL in week 17 and will miss the playoffs, which really stinks. But the truth hurts, and Mendenhall was a big disappointment all season long. After logging well over 2,300 rushing yards and 21 total touchdowns over the last two seasons, Rashard's 928 rushing yards this season really fell short of expectations.

Most Surprising WR (2010 winner: Steve Johnson, Bills)
Victor Cruz, New York Giants

Are you kidding? Back in September, Cruz was just a second-year, piss-ant, small-time receiver from University of Massachusetts who never caught a professional pass in his life. Four months later, I dare say he is an up-and-coming superstar in the NFL. He ends up with the third most receiving yards in the league (just 33 yards behind Wes Welker) and tied for the third-most receiving touchdowns in the league. Is it safe to say that Domenik Hixon has lost his starting job even if he's healthy next year?

Most Disappointing, WR (2010 winner: Randy Moss, Patriots/Vikings/Titans)
Miles Austin, Dallas Cowboys

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know Austin was hurt part of the season and missed six games, but he's been on a steady decline since his career year in '09. This season Austin had a career-low in yards-per-catch and averaged just over 57 receiving yards-per-game. Are his best years behind him? He sure was a disappointment this year.

And now... the SHUT YO FACE AWARD, given to the biggest mouth/idiot in the NFL (2010 winner: Chris Johnson, Titans, for proclaiming he would rush for 2,500 yards that season)

MARK SANCHEZ, NEW YORK JETS

I really wanted to give this to Rex Ryan, the biggest blowhard the NFL has ever seen, but I don't give awards to coaches, so his mouthpiece gets it instead. I still remember Sanchez's snide remark last year, after getting his ass kicked by the Ravens in week one, "That's okay, going 15-1 isn't that bad." Well, this year the pretty boy didn't even make it to the playoffs... and let's face it, he stunk. You might think I'm being a little hard on the guy, but if you're going to spout off, you better be ready to back it up. Rex Ryan, Mark Sanchez and the rest of the dysfunctional New York Jets team are not entitled to a Super Bowl, no matter how much they claim they are. Talk is cheap. Have a nice off-season, boys.

What else can I say?

Thanks for reading for another year... there's much more to come in 2012. Keep checking Facebook for my (probably too frequent) updates.

The Division of Mediocrity

2011-12-20T10:05:00.000-06:00

Now that my fantasy season has come to a close with a resounding "thud," I've started to pay more attention to real football. And I discovered something very interesting this morning while listening to Mike and Mike on ESPN radio.

The discussion was how far the Philadelphia Eagles could go if they would get into the playoffs.

And my inner Jim Mora took over.... Playoffs?!

I thought the Eagles were dead. There are just two weeks left in the regular season, and the Falcons and Lions have both won nine games and the Eagles have won just six. The most the Eagles could possibly win is eight games.

Since neither the Falcons nor Lions can "unwin" a game, how could the Eagles get into the playoffs except by winning their division? Impossible.

Or is it?

Then I started looking at the NFC East. What a mess.

As it turns out, it is still possible for the Eagles to win their division, even though they are 6-8 overall with a division record of 4-6. (Last season the NFC West was crowned the division of mediocrity. I think the NFC East has earned that distinction this year - although the AFC West is giving them some competition).

Here's how it has to play out:

The Eagles must defeat the Cowboys this week and the Redskins week 17.

The Giants must lose the the Jets this week and beat the Cowboys week 17.

The Cowboys, obviously, must lose their last two games.

If the Eagles win the division, y'all are gonna see one pissed off billionaire... Dagnabbit!

If these scenarios play out in that order, the Eagles and Cowboys will have tied records and the Eagles would win the tie-breaker because they swept the Cowboys in head-to-head games.

Suddenly, Jason Garrett's gaffe by icing his own kicker in what would have been the winning field goal against the Giants looms eerily large. (Dagnabbit!)

Or the Cowboys week 13 loss to the Cardinals in overtime is huge. (Dagnabbit!)

And remember the Cowboys' week 4 meltdown and subsequent loss to the Lions after a commanding 27-3 lead in the third quarter? (Dagnabbit!)

Wow.... just goes to show that there's no room for mistakes during an NFL season. Anything can (and will!) come back and bite you in the bottom.

Dagnabbit!

Fantasy Season Comes to a Close

2011-12-12T16:57:00.000-06:00

Well, friends, my fantasy football season in both leagues came to a pathetic, sputtering end last night.

All wasn't lost, however; in Frozen Loon (my 12 man league) I won my division and finished the regular season 11-5 (second-best record in the league). Not bad at all.

Unfortunately, the wheels came off my team over the last couple of weeks. I did not have Adrian Peterson at my disposal over the last two weeks and last night I lost DeMarco Murray to a broken ankle and any hope of making a comeback in my playoff game. In the end, I got smoked.

It gets even worse in More Beer (my 10 man league). I didn't make the playoffs and found myself in the "Toilet Bowl." I had a commanding lead going into Sunday night's game, but my opponent had Eli Manning, Hakeem Nicks and Miles Austin still playing. I wasn't sweating it too much. His players would have to have HUGE nights to beat me - I mean, Manning would have to pass for 400 yards and a couple TDs and Nicks would have to have over 150 yards receiving for starters.

And that's exactly what happened. I ended up losing by seven points.

Tradition in this league bestows the Toilet Bowl loser the honor of furnishing beverages at the next years' draft. And that tradition has always been a 16 gallon keg... which rarely gets drank. But tradition is tradition.

It was just a bad year for me in More Beer. Started with the draft and snowballed all season long. I ended up with four lousy wins.

But there's always next year.

Oh Boy! Bowl Season!!

2011-12-10T11:54:00.000-06:00

I am waiting with baited breath for the bowl season to start, so that I can enjoy such ridiculousness as the AdvoCare V100 Bowl... or the Belk Bowl or New Era Pinstripe Bowl (two more meaningless bowl games added this year) or the Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl (featuring UCLA - a team that actually has a losing record - but it's a big school with a big following and they are guaranteed to ~~haul in some cash~~ um... "travel well").

Sarcasm aside, I am delighted to see that ESPN is actually featuring some games during prime viewing by a college football division that actually gets it.

Be sure to tune into the FCS playoff games; they are great to watch, teams are usually very evenly matched and whoever wins moves one step closer to a legitimate national championship game. (By the way, GO BISON!)

Meanwhile, the BCS will feature a rematch of LSU and Alabama. Here's some advice for both teams.

To LSU:

Don't feel too much pressure to win this game. Even if you lose you still have a better case for the national championship, based on probability, statistics, algorithms and percentages.
Don't be distracted by the big stage or how you are being exploited by a system of institutionalized greed that perverts the very idea of higher education. Okay?

To Alabama:

Continue to live by the philosophy that if you first don't succeed, ~~try, try again~~ take advantage of a system that overwhelmingly favors your conference.
Also, attempt to redeem the annual BCS mess by losing by fewer points than Oklahoma State would have.

A Change in Strategy...

2011-12-09T09:57:00.000-06:00

Today I have launched a Facebook page for my blog. I am finding myself with less and less opportunity to sit down and write about my favorite sport - yet I've always got a comment or an opinion, and I love to hear discussion and feedback from others about topics from around the football world.

I am hoping these quick update "capsules" on Facebook, which are quick and easy to do for me, will help fill in the lengthy gaps between my blog entries.

Nail in the Coffin?

2011-11-30T20:56:00.001-06:00

Wow, Zygi... I mean, it's your money so you can spend it however and whenever you wish.

But buying a $19 million pad in cash right now just wasn't a very good move and really, really bad timing.

And it could prove to be the nail in the proverbial coffin for the team still called the Minnesota Vikings.

Wilf Becomes Most Hated Man in Minnesota

Some Advice from the Experts...

2011-11-14T12:50:00.002-06:00

I wonder how I would feel if I was a Kansas City Chiefs fan this morning?

Think about this: My team just lost at home against a division rival. During the game this rival lost their #1 and #2 running backs in the first half. Their quarterback completed just two passes in the entire game, the first one at 3:58 in the third quarter.

And somehow the Chiefs lost.

There are bad losses and there are ugly losses. This was a putrid loss.

My new favorite sitcom.

Now it is time to expose some fantasy "experts." Yesterday I watched "NFL Fantasy Live" on NFL Redzone, which airs 11 AM to 12 noon (Central time) every Sunday - (with the priceless tagline, "For all you need to dominate your league."). If you want a good chuckle I would encourage you to watch an episode. I've never seen a group of holier-than-thou idiots who know so little about so much. I took notes and here are what the "experts" said on Sunday morning.

The quotes are verbatim from the "experts," and the "experts" are Michael Fabiano, Matt "Money" Smith, Adam Rank, Jason Smith and the show's host, Dave Dameshek:

"Jeremy Maclin will have more than 15 fantasy points. DeSean Jackson is inactive. It's going to be the Jeremy Maclin show at the Linc." In fairness, Maclin got hurt. But in equal fairness, he was not playing well before he got hurt.

"Michael Vick will have more than 25 fantasy points. This will be a blow out. It's up to Andy Reid to decide when enough is enough." Great job experts. Vick had less than 130 yards passing and two INTs. He did have 79 yards rushing, but was nowhere in the neighborhood of "more than 25 fantasy points."

"Kansas City's defense will have at least three turnovers and at least one pick six. Start 'em." Wow. Nice advice.

"Larry Fitzgerald will have less than 12 fantasy points. No, I'll go even better than that. Fitzgerald will have less than eight fantasy points. WAY less, especially with the legendary John Skelton throwing him the ball." Fitzgerald had 146 yards receiving and two touchdowns. In my leagues, that's 26 fantasy points, which is WAY more than eight.

And my favorite piece of advice for the day:

"TIM TEBOW WILL HAVE MORE FANTASY POINTS THAN TOM BRADY. WRITE IT DOWN!" And I did. Right here.

Fantasy Football Experts. I guess it is better than having a real job.

The Snotbubble Football Halfway Awards

2011-11-02T21:14:00.002-05:00

We've reached the halfway point of the NFL season. True to form, the NFL has been anything but predictable.

Just for fun, here the Snotbubble Football Halfway Awards for 2011

The most surprising team: San Francisco 49ers. The Bengals and Bills were both in the running for this award, but I've got to give it to the NFC West-leading 49ers, which appear to be a shoo-in as division champion. The 49ers have six victories; the rest of the division has four victories combined.

Most surprising player: Cam Newton. Both Fred Jackson and Jimmy Graham were considered, but both had good seasons last year and I'm not surprised that both are having great seasons this year. However, Cam Newton is a whole other animal. And I was totally wrong about this guy.

Sure, he falls into the rookie category, but rookie or veteran, halfway through the season only Drew Brees has thrown for more passing yards than Newton. Yes, the rookie has thrown for more yards than Rodgers, Brady and all the other traditional big guns. I did not see that coming.

Where the hell did this guy come from?: DeMarco Murray. This is a bit premature, but these are the Halfway Awards, right? And right now, when I look at statistics and I see DeMarco Murray's name, I say to myself, "Where the hell did this guy come from?" Murray will probably be relegated to a back-up role once Felix Jones comes back (because Bo$$ Hogg loves Felix), and it will be a mistake.

Comeback player of the year: Steve Smith (Panthers). Matthew Stafford was briefly considered, but Smith is the obvious choice. It is amazing what a talented receiver can do when he actually has a quarterback who can throw him the ball, isn't it?

Most disappointing player: Chris Johnson. This was the easiest award to hand out. Philip Rivers and Brandon Lloyd are worth considering, but after CJ2K got his big pay day he put up his feet, lit a fat one and has rested on his laurels. There's no other explanation for his lack of production and passion this season. Javon Ringer is averaging almost a yard more per carry and there are serious rumblings about Johnson being benched for Ringer. (Thankfully, the same can't be said for Adrian Peterson, whose huge contract extension seemed to light a major fire under his ass).

The Pathetic Award:
Lastly, two teams are still winless. They are tied for the Pathetic Award. Both disgust me for different reasons.

Indianapolis Colts. There's a lot of talk about Tony Sparano losing his job, but I think the job (or lack thereof) Jim Caldwell has done in Indianapolis deserves much more scrutiny.

Injuries are a part of the game, but it is not an excuse to be uncompetitive. If that was true, the 2010 Green Bay Packers had every reason in the world to be uncompetitive. Instead, they won the Super Bowl.

In the beginning of the season I declared that the Colts would not be as bad as many were predicting. They lost Peyton Manning, but the team was still loaded with talent: Reggie Wayne, Pierre Garcon, Austin Collie, Dallas Clark, Dwight Freeney and Robert Mathis are just a few of the star players on this roster.

And I was right. They are not as bad as some were predicting. They are worse. In fact, the perfect word is uncompetitive.

And it is inexcusable. I absolutely refuse to believe one player can make that much difference to a team. Unless, of course, that team has absolutely no pride, no heart and no desire.

The team under Caldwell - with basically the same personnel - has been 14-2 and 10-6 over the past two years. They are just 20 months removed from their last Super Bowl appearance.

The Bad: The Colts had no contingency plan if their star quarterback went down with an injury.

Even Worse: The team as a whole, offense and defense, has looked ~~pathetic~~ uncompetitive without Manning. No one has stepped up as a leader. No one has taken accountability for their horrendous play. In fact, the whole damn team has simply stopped trying.

Worst of all: Even the head coach has seemingly shrugged his shoulders and said, "But we don't have Peyton Manning. What can ya do?"

Inexcusable.

Miami Dolphins. Long story short: the entire front office needs an enema.

This organization just doesn't get it.

In a brilliant PR move a few years ago, someone in the organization decided it would be great to sell part of the team to celebrities. Gloria Estefan, Fergie, Marc Antony, Venus and Serena Williams and Jennifer Lopez are all partial owners of the Dolphins. I am assuming the goal was to sell more tickets.

But if you don't win, they won't come.

Over the years the Dolphins have gotten every coach they've wanted. Jimmie Johnson, Dave Wannstedt, Nick Saban, Cam Cameron... even Bill Parcells was persuaded to run the whole darn show. All were declared "the answer." All have failed.

Here's a little hint for the organization: You haven't had a quarterback since Dan Marino.

Cleo Lemon? Gus Frerrote? Joey Harrington? Chad Pennington? No, no, no and... no.

Running backs Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams were serviceable, but were let go this season and the team traded for one of the most overrated NFL prospects in recent history, Reggie Bush (there was a reason the Saints didn't want him).

If they were looking to sell tickets, Bush isn't the guy to do it any more than Jenny From the Block in her Fiat.

Here's another hint: You haven't had great receivers since Duper and Clayton.

In 2010 they traded for one of the biggest headcases in the NFL, Brandon Marshall. They thought they were getting a Pro Bowl caliber receiver in Marshall. Instead, they got a Terrell Owens ego with a Pacman Jones mentality. Bad combination.

The Bad: Their drafts over the past 10 years have been beyond horrible - which includes Pat White, Ted Ginn Jr., John Beck, Jared Odrick, Sean Smith, Kao Misi, Matt Roth all taken in the first or second rounds.

Even Worse: Dolphins ownership attempting to dupe their fans by substituting talent on the field for beautiful people in the owner's box.

Worst of All: It doesn't matter what happens with the Dolphins for the rest of the season, they will move on to the next head coach either this year or next year with the same crappy roster, the same misguided philosophy and the same predictable results.

Pathetic.

Personal Foul...

2011-10-25T12:14:00.000-05:00

I hate to complain about officiating in the NFL. It is a difficult job and I would not like to do it. For the most part, I think the officials do a very good job.

But this weekend was full of terrible calls. I heard someone point out that the officials are calling it exactly like the NFL wants it. That is probably correct.

Quarterbacks are off limits. Wide receivers are off limits.

I think one of the worst calls this weekend was on Clay Matthews. Now, I am the last person on earth who would complain about a call against the Packers that works in the Vikings favor, but I also think the integrity of the game must come before everything else.

On this particular play, Christian Ponder was flushed out of the pocket, rolling to his right and just as he threw the ball downfield, Matthews hit Ponder in the mid-section, leading with his shoulder and driving his legs. A text book tackle.

Yet he was flagged for roughing the passer - a 15 yard penalty, automatic first down. Matthews couldn't believe it. I, as a die-hard Vikings fan, couldn't believe it. In fact, I even said to my television (because it listens so well), "That was a terrible call!"

There was absolutely nothing wrong with Matthews' timing or tackle on Christian Ponder. The penalty was an embarrassment to ~~football~~ this game I used to fully understand.

I've often said that quarterbacks should wear neon pink flags on their hips. If a defender can grab the flag, the quarterback is down. That way the NFL doesn't have to worry about him getting hit.

That's no more ridiculous than the way things are currently called.

Even a perfect form tackle is no longer acceptable in the NFL.

On at least two other occasions this weekend (including Monday night), a defensive back was called for unnecessary roughness on a wide receiver, even though the DB made a perfectly legal hit - leading with the shoulder, hitting the receiver in the chest, knocking the receiver on his butt and preventing him from catching the ball.

The NFL has (rightly) slammed its iron fist down on leading with the helmet. I'm all for that. But now the pendulum has swung too far.

When a defensive player has perfect timing, leads with his shoulder, doesn't go "head hunting" and still gets called for a personal foul... what can you do?

I wish I was smart enough to give a really good answer.

Instead, I guess I'll just cry about it and try my best to understand what is legal and illegal in the NFL, which is much easier said than done.

How on earth?

2011-10-22T21:09:00.000-05:00

I was thinking about this today: Matt Millen is a football analyst for ESPN. How on earth did this guy get this job?

He is solely responsible for one of the most resounding management failures in ~~football~~ professional sports history; his mishandling of the Lions for eight seasons, highlighted by drafting some of the biggest busts in pro football history (Mike Williams, Roy Williams, Charles Rogers, Joey Harrington to name a few) is legendary.

Yet, he is now on ESPN telling me how the game should (and should not) be played.

Damn, I'm really doing something wrong with my life.

Matt Millen: Living proof you really can fool all of the people all of the time.

FSM is Back

2011-10-21T17:25:00.001-05:00

I have arrived at the conclusion that nobody in More Beer league wants to play me. Everyone is scared of me. For all the wrong reasons.

I am the guy nobody wants to lose to at this point in the fantasy season.

Nothing has been said to me personally, but I've played fantasy football long enough to know how this little fraternity works. I have the worst record in the league. The least total points. The second-most point against. Simply awful. Hell, I wouldn't want to lose to me.

Last week I fell to the Brainerd Bulldogs by just 3.8 points, so at least I'm competitive. I'm scoring points. Just not enough.

This week is the moment of truth. I play team High Road. This is the team I've negotiated trades with over the past couple of weeks. I've dealt Philip Rivers, Chris Johnson and Brandon LaFell to High Road in exchange for Steve Smith, Frank Gore and Brandon Lloyd.

I've made changes to my team and I think I've improved my roster - but one thing was missing. The biggest change of all.

I won the league championship in 1999 and at that time my team was called the Fighting Squirrel Monkeys. The next year, to observe the new millenium, I changed my team name to the Big Brown Beavers. And it seems that I've been cursed ever since.

So this week, overcome with superstitious thoughts and a longing to get back to those good ol' championship days, my board of directors voted to change my team name back to the original. The Fighting Squirrel Monkeys are back. This team was one of the charter members of the More Beer league (established in 1992). The name never should have been changed in the first place. It's good to be back. And it's back for good.

The Fighting Squirrels Monkeys have got back to where they once belonged.

Whether this will help my fantasy misfortunes this season remains to be seen, but at this point it can't do any harm at all.

In Frozen Loon league, I laid a giant egg in our first-ever double header - what did I expect with Alex Smith as my starting quarterback? My 4-1 team is suddenly 4-3. Hopefully I will at least split the double header this week...

The Big Mouth Strikes Back

2011-10-20T17:50:00.000-05:00

Rex Ryan is that four year old child who is starved for attention and throws a fit when everyone isn't looking at him.

Hey guys! Guys? Hey! Hey, watch this. Hey! Over here! Yoo-hoo!

Here's the proof: in a week where everyone is talking about the Harbaugh-Schwartz non-story, Rex has to stomp his feet and say "Look at me! Look at me!"

So he goes on record saying that he would have a "couple of rings" by now if he had been hired by the Chargers in 2007 (obviously, because he's got SOOOO many rings right now). Rex said this with the full knowledge that the media would gobble it up like a bag of M&Ms on Andy Reid's office desk.

And he was exactly right.

So Rex is back in the headlines. It's his life force. He can't survive without the spotlight.

And if Rex is happy, everyone is happy. Right?

The Same Old Song and Dance

2011-10-19T20:56:00.000-05:00

Back on April 13th, when a Pioneer Press journalist suggested it made sense for the Vikings to bring in a veteran quarterback - namely Donovan McNabb - I wrote the following:

McNabb is not the right answer. Carson Palmer is not the right answer. Marc Bulger is not the right answer. The last thing the Vikings need is to drag in another old dog to see if he can do any new tricks. It hasn't worked for 19 seasons. It won't work this season.

I'm usually not right about much when it comes to football, but I was right about this one. The McNabb era lasted exactly six weeks for the Vikings. And let's face it, this is not about how good Christian Ponder is; it is entirely about how poorly Donovan McNabb has played. On August 2nd, after McNabb was traded, I relented:

A rookie quarterback rarely sees success in the NFL and the lockout would make a productive season nearly impossible for Ponder. At least McNabb will be competitive.

If I knew then what I know now. Sheesh.

Master of the football "bounce pass." Also called the "incomplete pass."

As it turns out, McNabb wasn't competitive. Not at all. He is clearly no longer the quarterback he once was. He's played in the league 13 years and had a great run, but it looks pretty obvious to me that he's at the tail end of his career.

And so starts the Christian Ponder era, leading a dismal 1-5 team against the hated Packers. At least the game is at the Metrodome so the team doesn't have to worry about that plane ride home.

Let's face it, nobody expects the Vikings to win this game. And wouldn't you know it, it is one of the featured late games on Fox. Nothing like adding insult to injury is there?

But you never know. The Vikings often seem to elevate their game against Men-in-the-Yellow-Pants.

My name is Ponder. No one has a clue who I am.

One good thing about this game is the Packers don't really know how to prepare for Ponder. He has shown mobility and he certainly appears more accurate than McNabb (which isn't saying much, I know). I also think Ponder injects new life into the team. The Vikings looked like an old, crippled team with McNabb under center on Sunday night; they looked much more alive when Ponder came in, even though they were getting killed at that point.

Another positive that has largely gone overlooked because the Vikings have stunk: Jared Allen has quietly returned to All-Pro form; through six weeks he already has a league-leading 9.5 sacks (he had 11 total last year), plus two forced fumbles and an interception.

So it's official - the Vikings are out of the playoff hunt. Leslie Frazier sacrificed a sixth round pick for six games from an aging quarterback. The same old song and dance has produced the same old results.

Here is looking to a bright future full of sunshine and lollipops.

And all that jazz.

Just Listen to the Experts...

2011-10-17T18:10:00.001-05:00

Alright, I'm not being a crybaby here or blaming somebody else for my mistake - after all, I am ultimately responsible who I start and sit on my fantasy team, but I'm not very happy today.

For the record, I almost never listen to those fantasy football "experts" out there. Key word here: almost.

In More Beer league, I went into week 6 with a league-worst 0-5 record. My starting running back situation was a bit up-in-the-air. I was left with a choice between Cedric Benson (versus the Colts) and Rashard Mendenhall (versus the Jaguars). Mendenhall (my second-round pick) was coming off a hamstring injury and hadn't done anything this season - while Cedric Benson has been having a pretty good year.

Benson had sat on my bench for the first five weeks while Mendenhall struggled. I started thinking that Benson was a better start this week, but I wasn't convinced. It probably would be smarter to stick with Mendenhall on more week - I mean, I drafted him in the second round for a reason, right?

Then I had the misfortune of watching ESPN's pregame show on Sunday and that idiot fantasy "expert" Matthew Berry came on and recommended sitting Rashard Mendenhall, and he gave a variety of reasons why.

Keep in mind, I haven't won a game yet this season and my attitude is basically, what I've been doing hasn't been working.

Matthew Berry - "The Talented Mr. Roto" - is, after all, an expert his field, right? He put in years of disciplined study and attended an accredited graduate program to become an expert (right?!) and he researches this stuff and he's confident enough in his analysis to go on national television and tell fantasy owners across America to SIT Rashard Mendenhall.

Okay, Matthew Berry. You're the expert.

On Sunday, Rashard Mendenhall easily had his best game of 2011: 146 rushing yards and a touchdown.

And I would have won my first game of the year if I would have ignored this self-proclaimed jerk and just went with my gut.

It's official. I give up.

2011-10-14T17:08:00.001-05:00

I haven't talked much fantasy football here lately, but this seems like a pretty good time to do that.

Boy, it has been a tale of two seasons for my fantasy teams. In Frozen Loon - a 12-team league, I am 4-1, tied for first place in my division. This week we are starting double header action which goes through week 8. I've never played double headers before, so this will be something new and fun.

However, in More Beer - a 10-team league, I am a lousy 0-5. I've had low score two of these first five weeks. My team is horrible. I believe it is my worst start since I started playing fantasy football in 1991.

The fascinating bit is I drafted #1 overall in Frozen Loon (4-1) and #2 overall in More Beer (0-5). Logic would tell you my teams should be similarly good or bad because I drafted in nearly identical positions.

But nothing could be further from the truth.

My staff is undergoing a root-cause analysis to account for the black-and-white differences in these leagues, but I think I've already got it figured out. It's all about the draft.

In Frozen Loon, I took Adrian Peterson first overall. I then took Vincent Jackson and Philip Rivers with my next two picks.

In More Beer, I took Chris Johnson second overall, followed with Rashard Mendenhall and Philip Rivers. By the time I picked a receiver, the best one available was Reggie Wayne. I knew I was in trouble then, and things just spiraled down hill from there.

I knew at the end of the draft that my team was not very good. I knew I had some glaring weaknesses on my team. I didn't have a good feeling about the season. And I was right.

Chris Johnson and Rashard Mendenhall have combined for 73 fantasy points so far this season. By comparison, Adrian Peterson has scored 90 fantasy points alone. Fred Jackson has scored 101 points (he was taken in the 6th round in Frozen Loon; 7th round in More Beer. Jackson has personified the term sleeper this season, folks).

I also made the catastrophic mistake of drafting the overrated puke Ochocinco in both leagues, and, worse yet, I drafted him far too early. I had visions of a Randy Moss-type season; but Ochocinco is no Randy Moss. Not even close. What can I say, I swung for the fences and fanned it big time.

At least in Frozen Loon I drafted an excellent tight end, ~~the Reverend~~ Jimmy Graham, to make up the difference.

Not so in More Beer.

So my adventures in More Beer have gone like this:

I quickly grabbed Cam Newton in week 1, knowing my team was already in trouble.

I also grabbed Aaron Hernandez via free agency in week 1. My drafted tight end, Marcedes Lewis was already gimpy and he had a rookie quarterback throwing him the ball.

In More Beer after week 4, I traded Philip Rivers for Steve Smith - which gave me the Newton-to-Smith combination. I had left Newton on the bench for four weeks and watched 122 fantasy points go down the drain. I was killing myself. Even with this change I lost the following week.

This week I finally relented and traded away Chris Johnson for Frank Gore and Brandon Lloyd. At this point, I certainly can't do any worse. Essentially, my entire team is new; all of my early draft picks were either a bust or injured... and I am paying the price dearly.

Another lesson: Do not draft a quarterback early. Cam Newton was an undrafted free agent that I picked up during week 1. Philip Rivers was my third round pick. Newton is now starting and Rivers is no longer on my team. Enough said!

Maybe this is the week things get turned around, I don't know. I do know that I don't like being the doormat of the league (on the positive side, it doesn't happen very often).

As my brother (half)-jokingly told me two weeks ago when he played me, "I guess I've got a bye week this week!" He was right. He kicked my ass.

Fantasy football is all about figuring out your mistakes and learning from them. You'd think after all this time I would know what I'm doing. But it doesn't work that way... at least, not for me!

A Disgrace!

2011-10-12T11:56:00.001-05:00

Other than Michael Vick, is there a more polarizing figure in the NFL right now that Tim Tebow?

I understand the diverging opinions about Vick, because he is an evil piece of crap who deserves to rot in hell (yet some inexplicably treat him like a hero because he served nearly two years in prison), but I can't understand why all the hate for Tebow? Every "expert" on radio and television either loves Tebow or hates him. I can't figure out the haters.

All Tebow has done in his 24 years of life is win championships on the field, donate his time to charitable causes off the field and lived his life right. He's never been close to being in trouble with the law and he's carried himself the way all public figures should, as a role model to others.

All that, and he moonlights as the lead singer for the band Mumford and Sons:

Marcus Mumford and Tim Tebow... separated at birth?

But some football "experts" just hate the guy.

I just don't understand it.

Said Merrill Hodge:

“He was 1-for-5! Two went in dirt two in the stands! That throwing motion he changed? You can’t change who you are! Just watched two throws and he throws like he did in college!! College credentials do not transfer to NFL, rah-rah speeches do not work! You must possess a skill set to play! Tebow struggles with accuracy!”

Steven A. Smith said on ESPN's First Take that Tim Tebow as a starter is an "Absolute disgrace!"

A disgrace?

Jon Gruden says that Tim Tebow could "revolutionize" the quarterback position.

Tony Dungy said, during the 2010 draft, that he would take Tim Tebow as a top 10 pick.

Mel Kiper, Jr., who (as we all know) has forgotten more about football than Gruden and Dungy have ever known, says that Tebow "just can't be the quarterback of the future for [the Broncos]."

I'll be the first to admit that National Championships (two), the Heisman Trophy, AP Player of the Year, Maxwell Award (twice) do not equal success in the NFL - but give the guy a break. It's an absolute disgrace that he's now the starting quarterback for the Broncos?

Are you telling me he is the worst starting quarterback in the NFL right now? Worse than Tarvaris Jackson? Colt McCoy? Alex Smith? Curtis Painter? Donovan McNabb? Matt Moore?

You wanna talk disgrace, let's talk about those clowns.

I personally hope that Tim Tebow turns the "experts" heads so quickly that he breaks their necks. He's really never been given a shot on the pro level and many have already declared him a failure. I personally think he'll be just fine - certainly not a disgrace.

Maybe if Tebow acted more like a professional football player - ya know, hang out in strip clubs, learn how to beat the crap out of his girlfriend, smoke some pot, carry an illegal handgun and get a handful of DWI's, more "experts" would be on his side.

Until then, we'll just have to see what happens.

Just Win, Baby!

2011-10-08T22:32:00.000-05:00

I've certainly taken shots at Al Davis on this blog in the past.

Over the past few years, Davis has declined in health - and I dare say declined in mental capacity. Yet he still maintained control of the Raiders. Recent drafts have really left something to be desired: Fabian Washington, Michael Huff, Robert Gallery, JaMarcus Russell, and Darrius Heyward-Bey are among the first round flops drafted in recent years. Davis had the last say in every draft pick.

The simple truth is Al Davis just hung around too long in a decision-making capacity.

But that should not diminish in any way his contributions to professional football. Davis simply was a pioneer. As a coach, he revolutionized the passing game in the 1960s, which he coined "the vertical game." He even served as commissioner of the old AFL.

As an owner, he hired the first black head coach of the modern era, Art Shell. He hired the first Latino coach, Tom Flores. He hired the first female CEO, Amy Trask.

The Raiders won three Super Bowls with Al Davis calling the shots and he's given Hall of Fame induction speeches for a record nine players and coaches.

Davis hung on till the very end. I watched part of the Raiders game last week and the camera panned to the owners box. There was Al sitting in a wheelchair, undoubtedly sipping on J&B Scotch, towel around his neck, in his Raiders jogging suit, silver chained glasses perched on his nose, looking as pissed off as ever.

His mantras "Just win, baby!" and "Commitment to Excellence" have become synonymous with the Oakland Raiders. The emblem on the Raiders helmet is said to be a likeness of Al Davis. Indeed, Al Davis was the Oakland Raiders and he changed the game we know and love.

Rest in peace, Mr. Davis. There will never be another one like you.

Are You Ready For Some Censorship?

2011-10-06T22:32:00.000-05:00

Watching this interview (and I encourage you to watch the whole thing)... is it really that big of deal? He never said "President Obama was Hitler" (those were the words hostess Gretchen Carlson immediately put in his mouth). He made a poor chosen, uneducated analogy. And Hank says right in the interview, "I'm not going to sugar coat it.... you don't want to ask me a question because I'll give you too straight of an answer."

And that's the problem with our society. We are a country drowning in political correctness. You cannot speak your mind in public because you will offend somebody... and God forbid if that happens.

Ironically, he was introduced as the "voice of Monday Night Football." Not for long, Hank.

Digging a big ol' crater

2011-09-29T11:10:00.000-05:00

There's nothing like a crappy 0-3 start to temper one's enthusiasm for the NFL season, is there? So far this Vikings team has left me scratching my head and bashing it bloody against the wall.

And I don't think I'm the only one.

If I had any hair, it would have been pulled out two games ago.

First there was the 17-7 first half lead over San Diego.

Then there was the 17-0 first half lead over Tampa Bay.

Then there was the 20-0 first half lead over Detroit.

To put it another way, the Vikings have led their opponents 54-7 in the first half.

...and they have been outscored 67-6 in the second half.

Leslie Frazier has earned a new nickname here on Snot Bubble Football: First Half Frazier.

So what happens this week? A 10 point lead wasn't enough. A 17 point lead wasn't enough. Heck, a 20 point lead wasn't enough.

Some quick research has revealed that the Kansas City Chiefs largest second half comeback is 17 points, so we could be looking at one for the record books on Sunday.

I could rationalize how a team - a professional team - could give up three consecutive double-digit leads, but I won't. I could delve into what I think is wrong, but I won't.

I could analyze how a defense can give up 7 points in the first half in all three games combined... and then give up 67 points in the second half, or justify how an offense can score 54 points in the first half and a measly six in the second half. But I can't. There is no excuse.

None.

So now the Vikings find themselves behind the eight ball just three games into the season. Sunday's game against the Chiefs is simply a must-win game. It seems silly to say that at week 4, but it is true. They've dug themselves a crater already in a division with the undefeated Lions and Packers. It is all the more frustrating when those first three games were "in the bag," as it were.... and to quote Denny Green, "We let 'em off the hook!"

If the Vikings go 0-4, I say it is time for Christian Ponder to get his feet wet. What have we got to lose?

And it is seasons like this when I am thankful for fantasy football. At least the games are still watchable!

The Crow's Nest - Week Two

2011-09-20T21:29:00.000-05:00

Let's take a look at the week that was...

The Bills are the first team since the 2007 Steelers to score a TD on every possession they had in the 2nd half.

The Bills have scored a combined 79 points in their first two games of the season. That's the 2nd-most points scored in the first two games in franchise history.

Jason Hanson has now played 297 consecutive games with the same team (Detroit Lions), which breaks Hall of Famer Bruce Matthews record 296 consecutive games with Houston/Tennessee.

The Kansas City Chiefs have a minus-79 point differential through the first two games of the season. This is by far the worst in NFL history for a defending division champion.

If the Vikings only had to play one half of football, they would be a convincing 2-0 right now. But there's that pesky second half.

Even better news for the Purple and Gold: only 12% of teams that start 0-2 make it to the playoffs.

Drew Brees has a streak of 29 straight games with a passing touchdown, one behind Dan Marino for the second-longest streak since the 1970 merger. Brett Favre owns the longest streak in that span at 36 straight.

Pathetic stat of the week: Against the Jets, when Jaguars quarterback Luke McCown threw the ball at least six yards downfield, he had more interceptions (4) than he did completions (3).

Sidney Rice says that he wants to try to rehab his labrum rather than have surgery. Gee, that story sounds familiar.

Larry Fitzgerald's now has 66 career touchdown receptions. Just two games into his eighth season, he's already tied with Roy Green for the most in Cardinals franchise history.

Adrian Peterson now has 54 rushing touchdowns, the most in Vikings franchise history.

In the first two games of a season, no player has ever passed for more yards than Tom Brady (940).

In the first two games of a season, Cam Newton has passed for the second-most yards in NFL history (854)... second only to Mr. Brady.

Last week the experts said the Cowboys should get rid of Tony Romo. This week he is everyone's superhero!!

The Secret Weapon: Broncos punter Britton Colquitt was outstanding in the fourth quarter against the Bengals. He hit a 59-yarder with just under 10 minutes left; a 57-yarder from deep in his own end zone with just under six minutes left; and a 55-yarder to the Bengals ten with two-and-a-half minutes to play.

The Cincinnati Bengals have not won at Denver since 1975.

Wes Welker has 63 consecutive regular season games with a reception, which ties him with Ben Coates for the Patriots franchise record.

Tom Brady is on pace to pass for 7,520 yards and 56 touchdowns this season.

Tony Gonzalez now has the fifth-most receptions in NFL history (1,081).

NFL teams have scored a record 1,502 points in the first two weeks of the season, breaking the old mark of 1,442 set in 2002.

See ya next week!!

The Crow's Nest - Week One

2011-09-13T12:38:00.000-05:00

Continuing something I've done in the past, here is my first installment of "The Crow's Nest," where I scour the internet for NFL facts and figures from the week that was... and add a few of my homegrown opinions for good measure. Enjoy!

For those who stayed up to see it, Raiders punter Shane Lechler connected on the longest punt I've seen in my life. It was officially 77 yards. But the ball left his foot at his own 15 yard line and finally landed at the Broncos' two yard line. The football traveled 83 yards in the air.

Sebastian Janikowski tied the NFL record with the longest field goal (63 yards). Interestingly, ESPN showed footage of him in warm-ups easily knocking 70-yarders through the uprights while enjoying a Culver's Concrete Mixer.

The Patriots had an okay opening night. They set a franchise record for most total net yards (622); they had the second-most total yards in a season opener in NFL history; and they had four players with at least six receptions AND 85 yards receiving each - that's never happened before in a single game in NFL history.

Oh, and Tom Brady is pretty good, too.

I'll go on record: I don't think the Colts are as bad as all that... but I do think they need to cut the frickin' pity party right now... and it should start with Jim Irsay deactivating his Twitter account effective immediately.

Cam Newton's 77-yard touchdown pass is the longest ever thrown by a number one overall draft pick since the AFL/NFL merger in 1970.

Donovan McNabb went 7/15 for 39 yards passing, plus an INT. Is Brooks Bollinger available?

The 49ers Ted Ginn, Jr., is the first player in NFL history to return two kicks for touchdowns (punts or kickoffs) in the final five minutes of a game. They were less than 60 seconds apart, which is also a record.

Tom Brady has now thrown the 10th most TD passes in NFL history (262). He is just 11 behind Joe Montana.

Lost in the shuffle: The one and only Chad Henne torched the Patriots secondary for 416 yards passing and two touchdowns.

The New Orleans Saints are the first team to allow 21 points in the first quarter since the hapless 2008 Detroit Lions, who went 0-16.

Cam Newton was the first rookie to pass for over 400 yards in his NFL debut. Maybe I was wrong about this guy?

The Chiefs 41-7 thumping by the Bills was the worst opening day loss in Chiefs history. It was also the second-worst home defeat in franchise history. And no, I did not see that coming.

If Matt Stafford manages to stay healthy, the Lions are going to be very, very good.

Suddenly the Steelers suck and the Ravens are the team to beat in the AFC North. Amazing how fast "experts" can change their tune isn't it?

Chris Cooley became the Redskins' all-time leader in catches by a tight end (423) surpassing Jerry Smith.

Sunday night was the first time in Cowboys franchise history that they lost a game while leading by 14 or more points in the fourth quarter. And Bo$$ Hogg was pissed.

Sunday night was also the first time in franchise history that the Jets won without a rushing touchdown or at least 50 yards rushing.

Wow, what a way to start the season.... see you next week!

The Burnsie Meltdown, Uncensored!

2011-09-09T08:39:00.000-05:00

To commemorate the start of the NFL season, here is the best coaching meltdown of all time by the warm and fuzzy Jerry Burns, UNCENSORED.

If your ears melt at the sound of naughty words, do not press play. You've been warned!

By the way, believe it or not, the Vikings won the game.

Man, I really miss Burnsie.

Back we go to November, 1989....

Excuse Me While I Adjust Myself

2011-09-04T11:15:00.000-05:00

I've had to make a few adjustments in my fantasy rankings over the last couple of days. My drafts are this coming weekend, so it is coming down to crunch time.

One of my big sleepers at tight end will have to wait till next year. The Chiefs' Tony Moeaki tore his ACL in the last preseason game of the year. A damn shame.

This means Leonard Pope and Anthony Becht are now going to have to do what they haven't been able to do thus far in the careers - become viable threats at tight end.

Much to my surprise, WR Donnie Avery was cut from the Rams. He was the Rams' 33rd overall draft pick in 2008, but injuries plagued him and he evidently wasn't a strong route runner. Just goes to show the draft is like a box of chocolates.

WR Mark Clayton was placed on the PUP list, so he won't be available for six weeks. Both Clayton and Avery were in my top 40 wide receiver rankings. Time to bump up Brandon Gibson and Mike Sims-Walker. But how far? Good question.

The biggest wrench thrown in my strategy was the signing of Chris Johnson. I really wasn't expecting that to happen before the season started. I have the #2 overall pick in More Beer FFL and this new development has really got me re-thinking things.

Even though he's missed the preseason, do I really bypass a player whose 1,609 yards from scrimmage and 12 touchdowns last year were considered a disappointment? Ray Rice and Jamaal Charles are also flirting with me at #2. (Arian Foster can limp to another owner in the first round as far as I'm concerned. Right now, he's just a one-hit wonder in my eyes. A gimpy one-hit wonder at that).

Since I'm on the subject of running backs, there are a handful that I think are set up nicely to become fantasy workhorses this season:

Beanie Wells -- for the first time in his young career, Beanie will not have to share carries. He's looked good so far and could be in for some big things. This is his third season and it's time to for him to strut that first round stuff.
Tim Hightower -- I jotted down Hightower's name after the first preseason game, although it seems the rest of the fantasy world has caught on. He has taken to Shanahan's zone blocking scheme much like Reuben Droughns, Mike Anderson, Tatum Bell and Selvin Young.
Tashard Choice -- because Felix Jones always gets hurt and Choice is actually the better running back, no matter what Bo$$ Hogg thinks.

On the flip side, there are a few running backs that I think will be taken too early:

Peyton Hillis -- one reason: Montario Hardesty.
Mark Ingram -- all the "experts" have already crowned him rookie of the year with 1,400 rushing yards and 10 touchdowns. Remember C.J. Spiller and Ryan Mathews last season? Neither do I.
Ryan Grant -- Grant looks at James Starks and sees a reflection of himself in 2008. A changing of the guard is in the air.

Okay, time to go adjust myself a little more. Privacy, please.

Go Mock Yourself

2011-08-31T17:09:00.003-05:00

Since learning of my draft position, I've completed about a half dozen mock drafts over the last week. The folks over at Fantasy Football Calculator have a good, user-friendly mock draft site. In fact, all they do is mock drafts and compile data from those drafts.

However, even though I enjoy mock drafts, I find their usefulness very limited. Players fly off the board in painfully predictable order and as soon as someone thinks outside the box, they are attacked. Trust me, I've been attacked plenty in such mock drafts. You see, I have a tendency to think in a non-traditional way and I enjoy ~~being an antagonist~~ a good debate.

So today I was taking part in a mock draft, selecting #2 out of 10 teams. To my surprise, Aaron Rodgers fell to me with the 19th overall pick. I commented something to the effect "Is there something wrong with Rodgers? I've never seen him fall this far."

The guy drafting #7 overall said he didn't take Rodgers in either the first or second round because he would never fall that far in a real draft, so it wasn't realistic.

(I'm still trying to process that logic.)

One of his lemming buddies drafting at #5 agreed: "Yeah, he would never drop that far."

So being the way I am, I countered, "But he DID drop that far - both to #5, then to #7!!"

The troubling part is no one else in the mock draft selected Rodgers, or had anything to offer to the conversation, which led me to ask myself, "Do all you people agree with this logic??"

And for the record, players off the board up to that point were (in order): Peterson, Foster, Rice, Vick, Charles, and Andre Johnson when the seventh overall pick was due.

That scenario is not realistic? Not even a little bit?

This made me wonder why anyone with this "unrealistic" attitude would even bother with a mock draft. If a player unexpectedly drops to you, you don't take him simply because you don't think he is supposed to drop to you?

So does this mean in the real draft you don't take a player that's still there because he's not supposed to still be there?

There's something rather Monty Python-esque about that whole concept.

Furthermore, if players do not come off the board the way they are "supposed" to in mock drafts, and if participants do not draft players because their simple minds do not think it is "realistic," can I then realistically think those players would fall to me?

What good is the mock draft, then?

I've got news for all these punks who think they know fantasy football: in every single real draft I've ever taken part in since 1991, things have never gone as expected. Someone always makes a move you didn't see coming and as a result, a player(s) is there that wasn't supposed to be there. And you know what? I DRAFT 'EM.

Fantasy drafts are anything but predictable. Keep your mind open when you participate in mock drafts and keep things "real" for everyone.

Ask the Commish

2011-08-30T13:09:00.000-05:00

Around this time of year I like to read fantasy football forums, especially where commissioners chat back and forth about their leagues, variations of scoring systems, special rules and experiences with owners in their leagues.

I've gotten a lot of good ideas from these discussions, some of which I have introduced into our 12 man league (Frozen Loon FFL), of which I am the commissioner.

Yesterday I was reading a forum on customized league rules to keep owners honest. It was an interesting subject.

Overall, I've been really fortunate to play with good owners who enjoy the hobby, have fun while taking it seriously, but compete with a sense of good sportsmanship.

You see, I've played fantasy football since 1991. In 1992 I helped form the More Beer FFL, a 10 man league, with my friend Brian, who has acted as commissioner since day one - and that league is going into its 20th season this fall. In 2005 I formed Frozen Loon, which started as an eight man league and has grown into a 12 man league.

Combined, that is 28 seasons of fantasy football.

During that time, many owners have come and gone, but only once has an owner been dismissed before a season ended, which I was forced to do in the best interest of Frozen Loon back in 2006. All things considered, that's pretty remarkable.

So I was interested in reading about "bad" owners (or to put it more in "neighborhood pub" terms, owners who are a pain in the arse).

In one league, a couple of owners were engaged in a covert "rent-a-player" agreement one season. Owner A would trade a player to Owner B, who would start the player for one week. Then Owner B would trade the same player back to Owner A after the game was over, etc. In this league, there was no commissioner approval or league vote on trades.

The consensus solution: once a player is traded, that player cannot find his way back on his original roster, either by trade, waivers, or drop/add.

Turning the tables a bit, there were also questions/complaints about "shady" commissioners. In one posting last season, a team owner was rightly upset when at the end of week 12, the commissioner of his league wanted to change the number of playoff teams from four to six. The final game of the regular season was week 13 and by changing the rule from four playoffs teams to six playoff teams, the commissioner's team would have automatically qualified for the playoffs.

My reaction was "Geez, that commissioner's got balls." The hard and cold rule for any league and any commissioner must be to set your rules before the start of the season, make sure they are in writing for all to access/read, and make sure the league owners understand them and feel they are fair at the beginning of the season (it is easy to say a rule isn't fair if it works to your disadvantage during the season, right?).

Then those rules may not be touched, amended or otherwise altered until the season is completely over.

[I've also found it helpful to take notes during the season (both as a team owner and as commissioner) when a particular situation arises, and write a proposal to make an amendment to a rule at the end of the season. Some times the amendment is passed, some times it is vetoed, but the important thing is it gets the league talking.]

But back to the commissioner forums... Probably the most common questions/complaints/quandaries was tie-breakers, especially those deciding who goes to the playoffs.

I can empathize with this because three years ago Frozen Loon had a pretty poor tie-breaking system and I, as commissioner, ended up having to make a tough decision - I could see an equally convincing argument from all three teams that were tied, but only two could make the playoffs. Luckily, the owners of each team understood my predicament and at the end of the season we all had a pint together.

I think (and this is my opinion, but it's my blog... so there) the most common mistake commissioners make in head-to-head leagues is that they make the "head-to-head" record the first tie-breaker after overall record. That's not the way to do it.

Using this logic, let's say two teams are tied with an overall record of 8-5.

Team A has a division record of 6-2
Team B has a division record of 2-6.
Team B swept Team A (two games) in division play.

In other words, the only two division games Team B won were against Team A, but Team A won three times as many division games as Team B. Who is the better team in the division?

This was exactly the scenario one commissioner had. And he had to go with Team B because the first tie-breaker was head-to-head games, then division record. To me, this is Michelle Bachmann logic.

That particular decision made the owner of Team A furious - that owner lost a $150 division championship prize - so he dumped his roster and refused to pay any outstanding transaction fees - which is to say, he abandoned the league.

While I don't encourage childish behavior from team owners, I can't say I blame the guy for being upset. This is why in our 12 man league, even though it is a head-to-head league, the first tie-breaker is division record. Then head-to-head record. If there is still no clear winner, then overall total points are considered. So... if

Team A has a division record of 6-2
Team B has a division record of 2-6.
Team B swept Team A (two games) in division play.

Team A is still the best team in the division, even though it lost to Team B twice.

Immediately, the Team B owner could argue what is the point of head-to-head play, then? And we could go in circles until next Valentine's Day. The point (again) is make sure the rules are in writing, make sure everyone understands them and feels they are fair, then do not touch them until the season is over.

Lastly, this year our 12 man league is trying something different: double header action for three weeks of the season. There are two divisions, six teams each. The first five weeks features division action, one game per team. Then in weeks 6, 7 and 8 we will have inter-divisional play: double headers each week, six games in three weeks, each against teams in the other division. Then the last five weeks of the season feature division action again, one game per team. That means a total of 16 fantasy games this year - six non-divisional games and 10 divisional games - in the traditional 13 week format.

I've never played double headers before - it is just an experiment - but I'm always open to try something new and different in this hobby I love!

Who to pick?

2011-08-28T20:46:00.000-05:00

"4 those worried abt your fantasy team, u ppl r sick" Arian Foster, via Twitter.

That was my chuckle of the day.

Believe it or not, I am updating my blog. Between my five year old gearing up for kindergarten and my two year old boy in Marshawn Lynch "Beast Mode" 24/7, attempting to be a husband and working at the job, I find it really difficult to update much these days. I've got lots of football thoughts swirling in my brain, but little opportunity to say much about it.

But I'll try right now.

So last weekend we drew for draft order in both of my leagues. In my 12 man league (Frozen Loon FFL) I am picking #1 overall. In my 10 man league (More Beer FFL) I am picking #2 overall.

I have done a few mock drafts and allow me to say this: I am not in love with where I pick. Unless something catastrophic happens to Adrian Peterson between now and opening day (in which case I may have to commit myself to the proper institution), I am undoubtedly taking him first overall. To me, he's pretty much the only sure thing.

But that second overall pick in More Beer is what concerns me.

That is precisely why I have been watching the Arian Foster situation rather closely and why I found his Tweet pretty funny.

I guess I'm sick, Arian. Sick as hell.

I grabbed Foster in the fourth round of the 2010 More Beer draft last year. I don't think he'll hang around that long this year.

Perhaps if Chris Johnson was in camp this would be a much easier decision to make. But in my mind, the more time Johnson misses, the less effective he's going to be this season. Yes, he's a good running back, but he's not in football shape. He's an injury waiting to happen and I'm not touching him with a barge pole... unless he falls to the last pick of the second round, of course.

I've also been looking closely at Jamaal Charles. The more I learn, the more I like. Ray Rice is also a prospect. Most fantasy owners turn their nose at Ray Rice because he fell short of expectations last season, although his 1,776 yards from scrimmage was third-most in the league.

So there ya go. I'm still alive. And I'm thinking fantasy football...

Goodbye, Stud Running Back

2011-08-16T11:03:00.000-05:00

So I wasted a ~~couple~~ few bucks and bought my first fantasy football magazine of the year last weekend. It is more for my collection than actual information - I have at least one fantasy mag for each of the past 18 years or so; they are kind of fun to browse from time to time. Obviously every magazine on the shelf (of what few there are this year) went to press long before the lock out was over and nothing is up-to-date. Still, it is nice to have a little something to thumb through as the summer days get shorter.

I started playing fantasy football in 1991. Back then, in the early '90's, stud running backs were bountiful. Emmitt Smith, Barry Sanders, Thurman Thomas, Rodney Hampton, Jerome Bettis, Chris Warren, Neal Anderson, Marion Butts, Christian Okoye, Earnest Byner... just about every team had a stud, "featured" running back and there were more than enough for a ten man league in the first round and beyond.

But after studying each team's depth chart this year, and considering each team's additions via free agency, I was put on high alert: The Age of the Stud Running Back has come to an end. We've been seeing this shift for a while and I believe it is now complete. As a result, one should adjust your drafting strategy accordingly.

Let's take a look-see in the AFC:

Baltimore: Ray Rice, Ricky Williams
Buffalo: Fred Jackson, CJ Spiller
Cincinatti: Cedric Benson
Cleveland: Peyton Hillis
Denver: Knowshon Moreno, Willis McGahee
Houston: Arian Foster
Indianapolis: Joseph Addai, Donald Brown, Delone Carter (R)
Jacksonville: Maurice Jones-Drew
Kansas City: Jamaal Charles, Thomas Jones
Miami: Reggie Bush, Daniel Thomas (R)
New England: BenJarvus Green-Ellis, Danny Woodhead, Shane Vereen (R)
New York Jets: Shonn Green, LaDainian Tomlinson
Oakland: Darren McFadden, Michael Bush
Pittsburgh: Rashard Mendenhall
San Diego: Ryan Mathews
Tennessee: Chris Johnson

Let's see... there are seven "go to" running backs among the 16 AFC teams, but questions abound. Will Cedric Benson stay out of the back of a police car? Is Peyton Hillis a one season wonder? For that matter, is Arian Foster a one season wonder (and he's already hurt)? Will Ryan Mathews live up to his 12th overall pick status after a disappointing rookie year? Is Chris Johnson going to get his head out of his ass and show up in Tennessee - and once he does will his performance be effected by all the time he's missed (he's a pulled hamstring waiting to happen in my opinion!)?

So of this group of merry men, there are two players that I find have few questions about them: Rashard Mendenhall and MJD. Both have put together consecutive seasons with solid fantasy numbers and both are the guy on their respective teams.

In the NFC:

Arizona: Beanie Wells
Atlanta: Michael Turner
Carolina: DeAngelo Williams, Jonathan Stewart
Chicago: Matt Forte, Marion Barber
Dallas: Felix Jones, Tashard Choice
Detroit: Jahvid Best
Green Bay: Ryan Grant
Minnesota: Adrian Peterson
New Orleans: Mark Ingram (R), Darren Sproles, Pierre Thomas
New York Giants: Ahmad Bradshaw, Piss Pants Jacobs
Philadelphia: LeSean McCoy, Ronnie Brown
St. Louis: Steven Jackson, Cadillac Williams
San Francisco: Frank Gore
Seattle: Marshawn Lynch, Justin Forsett
Tampa Bay: LaGarrette Blount
Washington: Tim Hightower, Ryan Torain

Just like in the AFC, the 16 NFC teams have just seven featured running backs. (Unfortunately for fantasy owners, former studs Steven Jackson and Matt Forte now have legitimate players to spell them). Meanwhile, there are questions all over the place in this conference, too. Will Beanie Wells step up and do what he is paid to do? He's been a tremendous disappointment his first two seasons. In his first three years Atlanta, Michael Turner has led the league in carries two seasons (710 combined touches!) and was hurt the other season. How much more pounding can he take? Can Jahvid Best carry the ball for a full season without getting hurt? Can Ryan Grant come back from his season-ending injury from last year? Can Frank Gore ever stay healthy and get back to his 2006 form? Was LaGarrette Blount just a flash in the pan last year?

Only the supreme being, Adrian Peterson, appears to have no questions about him. (And that's not because I'm a Vikings fan).

So there you go. Of 32 NFL teams, there are just three featured fantasy running backs with no looming questions about them. And just one injury can change all that, too.

Here's to you, Stud Running Back. You are the endangered species in the world of the NFL. You were once bountiful and dominated the landscape. Now very few of you remain.

Kinda sad, isn't it?

It's time...

2011-08-13T16:14:00.001-05:00

After a summer filled with legitimate doubts that there would be football this fall, I don't think I've been happier to see the Vikings suit up for their first preseason game tonight. Football is back. I don't think I've been happier to see it.

Best of all, my cable company suddenly started carrying NFL Network! I don't know if this had anything to do with the new CBA or if it is just a coincidence? Probably just a coincidence, but I sure am glad to have it back after a five year hiatus.

But I have to say one rule change this year will really effect the excitement of the game (and your fantasy football special teams). Kick-offs have been moved forward five yards to the 35 yard line. The coverage team must line-up (and be touching) the 30 yard. Many kick-offs will result in touchbacks - and this has already proven true in the first week of preseason.

In 1974 kick-offs were moved from the 40 yard line to the 35 yard line. The rule stayed that way until 1994 when kick-offs were moved five yards further back to the 30 yard line to add excitement to the kick return game because too many kick-offs had resulted in touchbacks.

Now we've gone forward to the past and reverted back to the 1974 rule.

The reason for the rule change is part of the NFL's attempt to reduce head injuries, but it seems to be a hollow, misinformed gesture by the league. The 30 yard line wasn't the cause of concussions. And until players learn proper form tackling, proper blocking technique and stop leading with their frickin' helmets (you know, stuff you learn in Pop Warner league), head injuries will continue. I clearly remember Kevin Everett's terrible neck injury during a kick-off several years ago. But the kick-off did not cause his broken neck. He led with his helmet. I don't mean to blame the victim here, but if the neck brace fits, wear it.

Okay, off my soapbox and onto the couch to watch some football.

Vikings new face of 2011

2011-08-02T18:37:00.000-05:00

In this flurry of trades and free agency movement, it is difficult to keep anything straight right now in the NFL. But it's time to stop and take stock in the team that gives me fits, my Minnesota Vikings.

Ah, yes, it's deva ju all over again. In a move that's been all too familiar since 1993, the Vikings sign an aging quarterback to run the show. Sure, the Vikes reached for the QB of the future in the first round this year, but Donovan McNabb will be under center for this season. The Vikings did not break the bank for McNabb, giving up a sixth round pick next year and a conditional sixth round pick in 2013. Considering McNabb will at least be competitive, I can live with that.

However, with the lone exception of Daunte Culpepper, who was drafted by the Vikings and started 2000 to 2004, the Vikings have had a quarterback rotation living on Geritol for the past 19 years.

But who am I fooling? I'd rather see McNabb quarterbacking the team this year than Christian Ponder. A rookie quarterback rarely sees success in the NFL and the lockout would make a productive season nearly impossible for Ponder. Ultimately, this was the right move.

From the "Read It Like A Book" department, the Vikings signed WR Michael Jenkins, who was cut by the Falcons. No surprise here, since OC Bill Musgrave has a clear understanding of his skill set. Jenkins is one of those former first round picks who has never lived up to his potential (commonly referred to as "bust," right?). He's played in Roddy White's shadow most of his career and it would appear that he is going to be asked to step up in the primary wide receiver role (contrary to what some say, Percy Harvin is absolutely, positively not a primary wide out). This is the "take advantage of my opp-or-tun-ity" moment of Jenkins' career.

The Vikings also quietly signed WR Devin Aromashodu. Last season, Aromashodu was being picked by a number of "experts" as a fantasy dark horse with the Chicago Bears. However, he ended up being the odd man out in Martz's system. Maybe he'll be one of those pleasant surprises this year? One of those genius moves by a savvy front office? I guess we'll see.

The Purple and Gold smartly retained kicker Ryan Longwell. There's nothing more comforting than an extremely accurate field goal kicker. He is now the ninth-most accurate field goal kicker in NFL history (based on field goal percentage). I'll take that any day.

In what seemed (at the time) to be a rather insignificant signing, OT Charlie Johnson now appears to be the tentative starter at left tackle. Leslie Frazier and company finally wised up and cut Bryant McKinnie today. Some bloggers and journalists are saying this is a "surprising" move... "shocking" even. I say It's about darn time.

McKinnie was one of those players who had so much potential, but the key word to describe him is complacent. He proved to be lazy, he never developed, he lacked effort on the playing field, yet put in plenty of time drinking, assaulting night club bouncers and employing strippers off the field.

He showed up at Mankato very fat and out of shape with that same old complacent attitude he's had since becoming a pro. He refused to take a pay cut (over the past couple of seasons I've felt that he was ridiculously overpaid). Simply put, he messed with the wrong head coach this time. It finally caught up with him.

He could have been great, but at his best he was a pretty good pass protector and a God-awful run blocker. In nine seasons, I never saw McKinnie hit the ground once. He may have had the cleanest uniform in the NFL. He was simply not worth the huge bucks the Vikings were dishing out. The Vikings finally caught up with my progressive thinking and they are a better team for it.

New offensive tackle Charlie Johnson has started 54 games with the Colts, including 16 starts at left guard and 27 starts at left tackle. He was a sixth round draft pick in 2006 and worked his way into the Colts' starting line-up. Johnson said the Colts were not aggressive in re-signing him, which is why he agreed to a contract with the Vikings. Considering Manning's butt rarely touched the ground over the past few years, it does not appear that poor performance was the reason for not re-signing him. The Colts are a salary cap mess.

But the grass is always greener...

Last and least: Sidney Rice is a chump. He proved it last year when he waited until late August to have hip surgery, which could have been performed six months earlier. He missed 10 games last season; despite this, the Seahawks rewarded him with a fat contract.

Rice has had one big season: 1,312 yards receiving and 8 touchdowns in 2009 with Brett Favre under center. His remaining three seasons have been plagued with injuries and a lack of competitiveness, and his receiving stats are not even a blip on the radar. Anybody can have one great season, right David Boston? Sidney Rice could care less if he wins or loses. He just wanted that big paycheck

That's exactly what he's got now.

And good luck with Tarvaris Jackson slinging you the pigskin, Sid. Maybe even Bryant McKinnie will join the Seattle mob to make it extra special this season.

It all worked out well in Minnesota, didn't it?

Time for a new season. Everyone is undefeated and football is in the air!

Goodbye to a walking contradiction...

2011-08-01T17:10:00.000-05:00

In the words of that old guy on the Snickers commercial... "Great googly moogly..."

We went camping for the past four days at my in-laws and my ESPN mobile alert went off so often that it became a drinking game for us all. Every time the alert went off, you had to drink your beverage of choice. We were all drunk for four consecutive days.

Okay, it wasn't quite that extreme, but you wanna talk about the football world changing in the blink of an eye. Wow!

So this posting was going to be about the changes in the Vikings landscape (and there have been a few), but I got another mobile alert today at 12:02 PM which surprised me a bit. Randy Moss has decided to retire after 13 seasons.

Randy Moss: Hall of Fame and horrible, a two for one special!

In these days when players retire and unretire depending on the direction of the wind on Wednesdays, I don't believe for a moment that Moss will stay retired. There will be the inevitable injury during training camp (which will most likely involve Sidney Rice's knee or hip, which he will undoubtedly - and wrongly - blame the lockout for his misfortune), and one Randy Moss will be back in business.

But just in case Moss does decide to call it a day, I think it is a sad, pathetic finish to the career of a player who could have been the best wide receiver to ever play the game of football.

Yes, that's how good Randy Moss was. And the only person who could stop Randy Moss was Randy Moss. And that's exactly what he did.

I've said this a thousand times over a thousand beers over the years: if Randy Moss had the work ethic and the competitiveness that Jerry Rice had, Moss would easily have been the best wide receiver to ever have played the game. I don't think that's an overstatement in the least.

I will never see, in my life time, another player who accomplished as much as Moss on pure athletic talent alone. He had size, speed and hands like no other player I've seen. Quite literally, no one could stop him. It's too bad he was his own worst enemy.

Moss started his career as the AP Offensive Rookie of the Year and he brought excitement to Minnesota Vikings fans like we had not seen since the days of Carl Eller, ~~Onterrio Smith~~ Alan Page and Jim Marshall.

He led the league in receiving touchdowns five times in his career.

He has the fifth most receiving yards in NFL history - and one more season of 1,100 receiving yards would have put in him second place all-time.

In 2007, he set the record for most touchdown receptions in a season (23).

He is second place all-time in receiving touchdowns; fifth all-time in career touchdowns.

He has 10 seasons of 1,000+ receiving yards - which is second most all-time in NFL history.

He had 41 games of 100+ receiving yards for the Vikings, a franchise record which will probably never be broken.

Even more remarkable is Moss achieved this in basically 10 seasons. His last season with Minnesota ('04) was below average, and his last season with the Raiders ('06) and this past season were altogether forgettable.

Unfortunately we all know the other side of Moss. He was notorious for his lack of effort. For taking plays off. For his laziness. For his many off-the-field problems.

But my biggest memory of Randy Moss comes from 2005. As the Vikings lined up for an onside kick in the waning seconds of a 21-18 loss to the Redskins, Moss walked off the field like a spoiled little brat - abandoning his team and giving up on the game.

I've never seen a player - high school, college or professional - do that before or since. And on that day, January 2, 2005, the words "Randy Moss" and "quitter" became synonymous to me.

And even when he came back to the Vikings last season, when he had the opportunity to be the returning, conquering hero, he proved once again he was still a horse's ass after berating a caterer in front of the rest of the team, which ultimately led to him being cut.

So it seems very odd that one can say about a player who has accomplished so much, that he had so much more potential.

But that's exactly what you can say about Randy Moss - a future Hall of Famer and a selfish quitter, all rolled into one.

A walking contradiction, indeed.

thoughts on the lion king

2011-07-22T11:13:00.000-05:00

So the owners voted to ratify the CBA yesterday with a vote 31-0.

Only Al Davis abstained. For all Mr. Davis has done for the AFL and NFL, I think this is proof that he really needs to sell the Raiders to someone who is less dead.

This is an important moment in NFL history and Davis decided he couldn't be bothered to vote on an issue this pressing. Either that, or he's out wandering around his backyard looking for a Payless Shoes.

Case in point: even Patriots owner Robert Kraft voted and his wife of 48 years lost her battle to cancer this week. Her funeral is today.

Al Davis is the same guy who insisted on drafting JaMarcus Russell despite all Raiders coaches advising him not to. Davis's famous quote on the matter was thus: "JaMarcus Russell is a great playah."

He also fired Jon Gruden in his prime - after finishing his final season with the team with a record of 10-6 and winning the AFC West for the second consecutive year (the Raiders hadn't won their division in seven years prior). A year later, the team Gruden built was in the Super Bowl (ironically defeated by Gruden himself with the team Tony Dungy built).

I can't be the only one who feels like this. Al Davis is one of the old guard. He helped form the AFL and I do respect his contribution to professional football. But at some point the old lion must give up his reign for a younger one.

I mean, you've seen The Lion King, right?

Free Agency, Part 1

2011-07-19T13:02:00.000-05:00

Hopefully in the next few days here we will hear good news regarding the CBA and the football world will immediately come alive again in brilliant technicolor. Free agency promises to be fast-paced and insane, so before the madness begins, let's take a look at some of the major players in the free agency race.

Since time has its noose slipped around my metaphorical neck, I have pared this long list down to just a handful of players I think will really make their presence known on another team. Let's start with...

Quarterbacks:
Matt Hasselbeck. Hasselbeck the most relevant quarterback available in free agency simply because there's no substitute for experience. He's has had a decent career - he is currently 37th overall in all-time passing yards - but the big question is whether he's a legitimate starter anymore. Any team signing him should receive a Senior Citizen discount. His last full season was in 2007. He's been plagued by injuries for years and I'm not sure if he's more than a back-up at this point. Remember the Seahawks gave up draft picks for Charlie Whitehurst a couple years ago, so it would be shocking if Hasselbeck is not in a different uniform in 2011.

There are a ton of RBs ready to hit the market. I've selected four that I think will rock the Casbah..

Running Backs:
DeAngelo Williams. Didn't it seem like the Panthers were going to be a force to be reckoned with for years with Jonathan Stewart and Williams in the backfield? I guess we can call them the poster children for "Potential." Williams had dandy season in '08, with over 1500 yards rushing and a league-leading 18 touchdowns, but that seems like a lifetime ago. If Williams can get a vaccine for the injury bug, he's still a very dangerous running back. But that's a big ol' IF.

Ahmad Bradshaw. Giants fans, it is a horrible mistake if your team allows Bradshaw to walk. Brandon Jacobs is a large baby and he's just slightly better than your stud of yore, Ron Dayne. Some say Danny Ware is the man in NYC. I say you better re-sign Bradshaw. If he goes to another team, those fans should be dancing a jig. Or maybe the Charleston.

Jason Snelling. I love irony. Remember when Michael Turner was LT's back-up and everyone said all Turner needed was a shot to become a monster? I am thinking the same thing now of Turner's back-up, Jason Snelling. Whenever Snelling has had the opportunity to start, he's ripped it up. He's a power back with Gorilla Glue hands. Keep an eye on this one. He could be a major fantasy dark horse depending on where he goes.

Tim Hightower. Maybe Hightower isn't all that. Maybe I just dig his name. I mean, he sounds like a football player, ya know? I know he has never touched the ball more than 153 times in a season and last year's 736 yards rushing was his career best. But it's all about opportunity and Hightower has had to share the backfield for his entire career. Over the last two seasons, he's averaged 4.5 yards per carry (296 total carries). That's impressive. If Hightower becomes the go-to back on a new team, he could kick some major coccyx.

On deck: receivers and tight ends...

Could it be?

2011-07-15T21:52:00.000-05:00

Could it really be that in a dozen days or so I'll be blogging about which team was the biggest winner in a ridiculously fast-paced free agency race? Man, the news is sounding good from both sides. We might have football this year after all. But I don't want to jinx anything here. I'm really good at doing that.

I'll admit that I'm really out of the loop right now. But then again, there really isn't much of a loop to be out of, is there? I mean, since the Super Bowl basically nothing has happened in the NFL. I guess it's just habit to think not paying attention to the NFL for the past four months has left me void of any pertinent information - not that I'm a great purveyor of pertinent information to begin with... but you know what I mean, right?

So I guess it is about time I start my favorite homework - my fantasy football analysis and draft list. The booms, the busts, the sleepers and dark horses. And not a moment too soon.

Stop in again soon. I've got a feeling that I'm about to begin blogging more than once every 30 days...

(YES!)

Is There Hope?

2011-06-15T18:55:00.001-05:00

My first blog entry in 46 days. This has been a miserable off-season. But at long last, there is something to write about in the football world that doesn't have to do with Kenny Britt getting arrested (why is it always a wide receiver making trouble?) or witnessing the Ohio State football program crumble under the weight of its own ego or trying to figure out the point of the BCS stripping USC's national championship some seven years too late.

The rumor coming out of Maryland is that things are moving nicely on the negotiating front and it is possible that a deal could be struck in a matter of days. I personally think that's a little optimistic, but it is starting to sound more and more like we will have football this fall - which means fantasy football this fall... praise God! - and it also means the free agency period, whenever that will be, should be a very tight window and things will move at a fast and furious pace once the ceremonial gun is sounded.

So hopefully in the days to come we can all stop talking about when it's all going to start and start talking about what good, bad and ugly moves teams have made in the quest for The Ring.

Yes, I'm a Dilfer Hater

2011-05-01T16:43:00.000-05:00

For a few brief moments on Thursday the football world almost seemed normal again, didn't it?

Then on Friday, a federal judge decided to reverse Monday's decision to lift the lock out and the NFL resumed its shutdown, and the draft continued with what I can only call forced enthusiasm.

And here we are, lost in the legal shuffle again.

But my Minnesota Vikings managed again to surprise me. I can only trust that Leslie Frazier knows what he's doing. I thought he was the best man for the HC job and I have to trust my gut and put my faith in him.

The Vikings took Christian Ponder in the first round, a move which Mel Kiper hated and Trent "Douche Bag" Dilfer (who spent as much time as possible ripping Ponder and the Vikings) thought was abysmal, so it must be a good pick.

And that brings me to my rant. Trent Dilfer. I couldn't even watch the draft coverage when he was polluting the airwaves. Even the sound of his voice makes me nauseated.

I kept asking myself over and over: Who the hell does this guy think he is?

A guy is handed a Super Bowl ring on a silver platter and he is suddenly a pompous, arrogant, over-opinionated expert? I guess that's the way it works.

Dilfer, quite frankly, is "first round bust" personified. He was drafted sixth overall in the 1994 draft. He spent 13 years in the NFL, and went through five teams - averaging 2.5 seasons per team. Why? Because he sucked.

He never threw for more than 2,859 yards in a season (despite being a starter in seven of his 13 seasons); he never completed 60% of his passes in a season - not even once; in eight of those 13 seasons, he threw more INTs than touchdowns and, not surprisingly, ended his career throwing 129 interceptions to 113 touchdowns.

Oh, and he fumbled the ball 82 times in his career too.

His career passer rating is a horrendous 70.2.

He spent a single season with the Baltimore Ravens. Basically, he won the lottery that year. He rode one of the best defenses in league history (which allowed just 165 points that season - an NFL record) to a Super Bowl championship in 2000. Dilfer's Super Bowl stats were a whopping 12 of 25 passing for 153 yards.

In fact, in his "Super Bowl" season, he was signed as a back-up to Tony Banks. Banks was benched halfway through the season (a coaching decision). In the eight games Dilfer started, he threw for 12 touchdowns and 11 INTs. You could say the Ravens won in spite of him.

But he's got a ring, so he's an expert.

And this expert was visibly delighted to rip a kid (Ponder) who, over the past two seasons, had over a 65% completion rate with 34 touchdowns to 15 INTs!

To me, this is like Johnny Rotten opining that Freddy Mercury is a horrible singer.

How can you be an expert at something if you sucked at it? How can his opinion be valued in the least?

My only conclusion is he must work for peanuts, so ESPN hired him. The same must be said for Tim Hasselbeck. I don't understand why I am supposed to value his opinion, either. Sure, he played in the NFL. And that's about it. So did Demitrius Underwood.

I would much rather listen to Emmitt Smith mumble his way through incoherent, grammatically incorrect prepositional phrases. At least I got a chuckle out of Emmitt.

Surely ESPN can do far better than Trent Dilfer.

Hmmmm... I wonder what Jeff Blake is doing these days?

Let the Legal Red Tape Begin...

2011-04-26T11:03:00.001-05:00

Now that the lockout is tied up in the court system with all that pretty legal red tape they use, I think NFL fans can kiss at least half the season goodbye; which is to say probably no fantasy season this year. You heard it here first.

Now, I am notoriously wrong about prognostications and I really hope I'm wrong about this particular one.

From the Minneapolis Star Tribune (followed by a bit of head scratching and the words, "Say what?"):

The federal judge who stopped the NFL lockout will take at least another day to consider whether she should put her order on hold. U.S. District Judge Susan Richard Nelson has given the players until 9 a.m. Central time Wednesday to reply to the NFL’s motion for a stay. That would freeze her decision pending further appeals.

We Want You But We Can't Have You...

2011-04-21T22:20:00.000-05:00

An interesting post at Pro Football Talk. It seems nobody really knows what the rules are regarding rookies once the draft concludes. "Welcome to the team, son. Now you need to leave..." that seems to be the long-and-short of it.

What an awkward situation. Just get this thing resolved and let's carry on with a normal off-season, what do you say?

Clearing the air on rookie contact rules at Pro Football Talk.

One Hit Wonders

2011-04-17T14:03:00.018-05:00

Remember Dexy's Midnight Runners? Man, I loved that band... or at least their one big hit "Come On Eileen." When they crashed out of the gate in the early 80's, many thought they were going to be the Next Big Thing. It didn't quite work out that way.

In music, one hit wonders are fascinating - and they make for great trivia. One hit wonders in fantasy football aren't nearly as enjoyable. But just as fascinating. How can a player explode for a great season for a single year and then disappear? The world may never know. But that's beside the fact.

There have been lots of one hit wonders in fantasy football over recent years. Some of the names I've come across include Javon Walker, Reuben Droughns (actually had two big seasons, so I couldn't really count him), Mike Anderson, Lee Evans, Olandis Gary - and maybe the "best" fantasy football player to never do a damn thing: Jerry Porter. Remember him?

Looking at the 2010 season, maybe the names Arian Foster or Jamaal Charles or Brandon Lloyd will be included on a future one hit wonder list? We'll have to watch and find out.

Probably the most frustrating part of fantasy football (next to the injury bug) is drafting a player who turns out to be a one hit wonder. I'm as guilty as anyone for doing so, because in fantasy football, if you snooze you lose. And some times you end up really getting hosed. That's part of the challenge.

So I've looked back and picked five of my favorite one hit wonders in fantasy football over the last decade or so (this list is in no way exhaustive). Here they are in no particular order:

David Boston, WR, Cardinals. Boston was the 8th overall draft pick of 1999. In 2001, he finally met everyone's expectations when he led the league with 1,598 yards receiving and eight touchdowns. It was the 14th best performance from a receiver in pro football history. This guy had suddenly become a frickin' monster. In most fantasy leagues the following year, Boston was one of the first three or four receivers drafted. And owners were tremendously disappointed. In fact, Boston played just three more years in the league and in those three years combined he did not match '01's performance. The seven year, $100 million contract he signed with San Diego in 2003 was not exactly money well-spent.

Antonio Bryant, WR, Buccaneers. Bryant was drafted in the second round in 2002 - one of "Jerry's Kids." But he never did pan out in Big D. After clashes with coaches and failed drug tests, it looked like Bryant was the poster child for "bust." Three teams later, after quietly signing with the Buccaneers in 2008, Bryant came out of nowhere and posted 1,248 yards receiving and seven TDs. Excited fantasy owners overvalued Bryant the next year and he crashed down to earth, not even getting 50% of those totals in '09. He was signed by the Bengals in 2010, but didn't make the final roster cut.

Steve Slaton, RB, Texans. I was just looking at an old Sports Illustrated fantasy football draft guide and Slaton was listed as the #4 overall fantasy prospect of '09. And for good reason. In his rookie year (2008) Slaton exploded for 1,659 yards from scrimmage (fifth-most in the NFL) and ten total touchdowns. It seemed the Texans finally found their running back and fantasy football had a new, rising superstar (hmmmm... Arian Foster, anyone?). Fantasy owners who drafted Slaton in the first round in 2009 were left dumbfounded. Slaton couldn't hang onto the ball (seven fumbles) and only managed 437 rushing yards, quickly losing his starting job. In 2010, Slaton carried the ball just 19 times. Talk about here today, gone tomorrow.

Derek Anderson, QB, Browns. There are not very many one hit wonders at quarterback. That position is usually pretty reliable and predictable, but one huge exception is Anderson's 2007 season. Entering that year, he was a completely unknown sixth round draft pick in his second year. In training camp he earned the starting job over Charlie Frye and one of the most overrated draft prospects of all time, Brady Quinn. Anderson threw for almost 3,800 yards and 29 touchdowns. For good measure, he also rushed for three additional touchdowns. Wow! This was Kurt Warner all over again! But fantasy owners who drafted Anderson as their starter in '08 ended up wishing they hadn't. He suddenly acted like he'd never played quarterback before and lost his starting job. Anderson just might be the ultimate fantasy football one hit wonder.

Tatum Bell, RB, Broncos. Bell was the heir apparent starting running back in Denver when he was drafted 41st overall in 2004. He led all AFC rookie running backs in rushing yards that year. Fantasy Football Index magazine even went so far as to feature him on their annual cover in 2005, even though he had yet to start a single NFL game. When he finally became a starter in 2006, fantasy owners were stoked. He was selected early in many drafts and his first game out of the gate was a 103 yard rushing effort against the Rams. Bell went on to rush for over 1,000 yards that year. But things turned sour fast. He was prone to fumbling the ball and Mike Shanahan traded him to Detroit the following year. Hopeful fantasy owners still grabbed Bell too early in '07. He carried the ball just 88 times in the next two seasons combined. In the end, he was accused of stealing Rudi Johnson's luggage, earning him the nickname "Tatum Bellhop." What a douche.

Next, I'll look at one hit wonders from the 1990s, for those long-time fantasy football veterans.

Old Dogs

2011-04-13T09:47:00.014-05:00

I don't read the St. Paul Pioneer Press, so I don't know who Charley Walters is, but evidently he is a columnist who has as much sense as the fossilized Sid Hartman.

In a recent column, Walters said that it's beginning to look "more and more" like Donovan McNabb will be the next Vikings quarterback. (First of all, how Walters can say this baffles me. Teams/players/agents/management cannot speak to one another right now, so how can this scenario seem "more and more" likely to happen?)

Bringing in McNabb, says Walters, "is what makes the most sense."

He goes onto explain, as if speaking to a group of preschoolers, that bringing in a veteran quarterback will allow the Vikings to develop a young quarterback, such as Joe Webb (um, who else?).

To that, I say, "NO! NO! NO!"

Vikings fans have heard this crap for nearly 20 years. It's time to take a new approach. Mr. Walters, bringing in Donovan McNabb makes no sense at all. Here's why...

The Vikings modus operandi for an entire generation has been to bring in a washed up quarterback as a stop-gap while a young talent "develops" ~~and they've got multiple Super Bowl rings to prove this strategy works~~. The Vikings have made playoff runs, but they've not gotten to a Super Bowl since January 9, 1977. I was in first grade then. I am 41 years old now.

I think it is pretty clear at this point in the team's history that this approach just doesn't work very well.

You see, the problem here is young talent never develops. Why? I'll answer that in a moment, but first let's take a brief look at the ugly past:

Since 1992 - 19 seasons - the Vikings' quarterback position has resembled a recycling plant - a place where old quarterbacks go to squeeze a couple more years out of their careers while the team talks of developing a young stud.

Jim McMahon, Warren Moon, Sean Salisbury, Brad Johnson, Randall Cunningham, Jeff George, Bubby Brister, Gus Frerotte, Kelly Holcomb, Brooks Bollinger, Jay Fiedler, Rich Gannon and Brett Favre are all veterans who gave it a shot in Minnesota. For fun, I'll throw in Spergon Wynn, Tarvaris Jackson, Joe Webb and Todd Bouman since they also started games in those 19 seasons.

And let's not forget the only moderately successful attempt at developing a young talent: Daunte Culpepper.

That's 18 different starters in 19 seasons. Sure, some of those players only started a game or two due to injury, but still... sheesh.

In contrast, The Packers have had two starters since 1992: Favre and Aaron Rodgers.

The Colts have had two starters since 1994: Jim Harbaugh and Peyton Manning.

The Patriots have had two starters since 1993: Drew Bledsoe and Tom Brady (Brady was the starter in the beginning of the '08 season before his knee injury).

Since 1992, these three teams have made a combined 10 Super Bowl appearances and won six World Championships. Coincidence? Maybe. There is certainly more to winning a championship than relying on a solid, consistent presence at quarterback, but you know what? It sure doesn't hurt.

The truth is this: New talent never develops for the Vikings because they have only drafted seven quarterbacks since 1992. And for the most part, they've done a horrible job:

1992: Brad Johnson. (became the Vikings starter, but was traded to Washington in 1999 and became a Pro Bowler his first year with that team; won a Super Bowl with Tampa Bay in 2002; traded back to Minnesota in 2005 at the age of 37 with his best years behind him. Typical.)

1993: Gino Torretta. Are you kidding me?

1995: Chad May. Never made the 53-man roster.

1999: Daunte Culpepper. Three time Pro Bowler. Cris Carter and Randy Moss made him look brilliant. Career was cut short by injury.

2006: Tarvaris Jackson. Seven years after Culpepper was drafted, the Vikings look for the next big thing. ~~Jackson was brilliant at Alabama State~~. What the hell was Childress thinking?

2007: Tyler Thigpen. Never made the final 53-man roster.

2008: John David Booty. Never made the final 53-man roster.

2010: Joe Webb. Such an impressive quarterback in college that he was drafted as a receiver.

So what's next on the Vikings horizon? Hopefully, Leslie Frazier takes a fresh approach and either drafts a promising prospect, goes through growing pains with Joe Webb - if Webb is the Chosen One - or acquires a good, young quarterback via trade (Kevin Kolb, anyone?).

Charley Walters is wrong. Dead wrong. McNabb is not the right answer. Carson Palmer is not the right answer. Marc Bulger is not the right answer. The last thing the Vikings need is to drag in another old dog to see if he can do any new tricks. It hasn't worked for 19 seasons. It won't work this season.

Not-so-Cinderella Stories

2011-04-11T16:48:00.000-05:00

Gosh, I am really impressed. I've never check my stats before on this particular blog, but I did so today. Yesterday, my first post in about three weeks, had 29 hits - which means 29 people actually logged on to my site to laugh at my ineptitude. That's pretty cool... and I know you are laughing with me, not at me. Right?

Right??

Inspired by this (and by the fact that Judge Judy is forcing the billionaires and millionaires to sit down with mediation and decide whether than can afford Maseratis or just lame Escalades), I've decided to post a quick follow-up with a little something I started a while ago, but put it aside and kind of forgot about. It's a little piece I like to call "Not-So-Cinderella Stories."

(-)

Some times all a player needs is an opportunity. How many times have you heard a jock say, "I need to take advantage of this opp-or-tu-ni-ty," the well-rehearsed five-syllable word the largest in his vocabulary.

How many times have we seen a player come off the bench and become the next big thing? Tom Brady, Kurt Warner ~~and Tarvaris Jackson~~ immediately come to mind. Other players were drafted as afterthoughts and became forces in the NFL (think Donald Driver or Ahmad Bradshaw). It seems like it happens all the time, but it's actually pretty rare.

So I decided to be realistic and take a look at players who had their shot and totally blew it.

The only rule is each player could only have played in one game in his career. His one big opp-or-tu-ni-ty.

The folks at Pro Football Reference have never let me down in the past, so I put them to the test. Once again, they came through with flying colors, thanks to the fantastic search tools on the site.

After a bit of research, I've compiled a short list and I've not included the stupid 1982 or 1987 strike years. I proudly present the not-so-Cinderella stories of professional football:

RAY BURNETT, HB, Chicago Cardinals

Burnett played for the Chicago Cardinals in 1938. In his single game as a pro, he had one rush for -10 yards. Seventy-three years later, that is still the worst of all time. He redeemed himself slightly by completing one of two passes for 19 yards in the same game, giving him 9 net yards from scrimmage in his career. Pretty bad; however, Burnett went on to a very successful high school and college coaching career. He was inducted in the Arkansas Sports Hall of Fame in 1974.

TOM O'MALLEY, QB, Green Bay Packers

Being Irish and playing in Wisconsin is not a good combination. O'Malley may have had a wee bit too much Guinness when he went under center in 1950, playing in his single professional game. He threw 15 passes and had a 40% completion rate... to the other team. Yep, 15 passes, six interceptions. He ended up with four completions to the correct jersey for 31 yards (you know you're having a bad day when you throw more INTs than completions). For good measure he had one rush for -9 yards. Career net yards from scrimmage: 22 yards. And six turnovers. O'Malley is still alive and kicking at age 85.

TODD HUSAK, QB, Washington Redskins

Husak was a member of the Redskins (his first and only NFL team) for the 2000 season. He briefly played in one NFL game, the last of the season, on a team that was out of the playoff hunt. Husak threw two passes for two completions for -2 yards. He also had one rush for -1 yard. Statistically speaking, Husak is the worst of all time: a grand total of -3 net yards from scrimmage in his NFL career. "Horrible" isn't quite the right word, but at least he didn't throw any interceptions, right? Husak was last seen with his head buried in the sand near Virginia Beach.

(-)

On the other end of the spectrum, there have been a few players who played very well in their only NFL game. But one really sticks out as an anomaly:

Randy Burks, WR, Chicago Bears

In 1976, Burks played in his only NFL game. Fans must have wondered where this guy came from. He caught one pass - the first and only of his career - for 55 yards and a touchdown. And he lived happily ever after. He never caught another pass or played in another game. He remains the leader in receiving yards for players with one career game. Burks was voted into the Southeastern Oklahoma State Athletic Hall of Fame in 1989; he was known for his speed and described as "electrifying." I can only assume he suffered a career ending injury, but I can find no evidence of that. If you know what ever happened to Randy Burks, let me know.

Well, there's a little football talk. There are many other not-so Cinderella stories. Which is your favorite?

I'll start exploring fantasy football one hit wonders next.

Cracking the Silence

2011-04-10T11:34:00.000-05:00

I can't stand the silence any longer.

Time to give the site a slight facelift and doodle a bit.

Okay football fans, is this off-season the most lame of all time or what? This is supposed to be a time of terrific excitement. The first wave of free agency would have been done by now. Big, big names would be on new teams. Kevin Kolb would be quarterback somewhere else. Donnie McNabb would be getting injured on some other team. Larry Fitzgerald would be a Minnesota Viking.

And all we got is nothing. Nothing.

Right around the corner is the NFL draft. It's supposed to be really exciting, but I'm just not feeling it this year. Am I the only one?

I find myself watching old college football games on the Classic channels and even Australian rules football trying to find a substitute for the fun that should be right here, right now for an NFL fan. I'm not really finding it.

So, my friends, I am going to start digging into the vault to find something football-related to write about. My postings probably won't be more than weekly, but I've got to keep the flame alive, even if certain entities in professional football could care less.

This Pretty Much Says It All...

2011-03-20T16:36:00.000-05:00

The NFL sends a well-meaning message to its fans. Um, perhaps something was lost in translation? (courtesy katchop.com)

On Hiatus...

2011-03-12T15:38:00.000-06:00

The NFL owners and players thank the fans for making NFL football the most popular sport in the United States.

The Good Book says something like the love of money is the root of all evil.

That's pretty much true.

The millionaires and billionaires could not work out their differences and those dreaded words are now upon us: LOCK OUT.

Wow, talk about a buzzkill. I'm normally excited for the NFL draft. For the first time ever, I really could care less.

No free agency excitement.

No trades.

No nothing.

Will there even be a 2011 football season? Will there be a fantasy football season?

The answer right now is "Who knows?"

And if you asked DeMaurice Smith, his answer would be "Who cares?"

It is pretty obviously there won't be much to blog about in the NFL world until these douche bags right the ship. So until then, Snot Bubble Football will be going on hiatus.

Once a new agreement is in place, Snot Bubble Football will be back and better than ever.

Until then, if you want to follow my meandering thoughts, please stop by my "other" blog...

It Is My Write!

On Pause...

2011-03-09T17:38:00.001-06:00

My entries in this blog seemed to have dwindled to just once a week. But really, there's not much to crow about in the football world. It feels like someone has pushed the pause button on the cassette player and you can here the gears cranking inside the machine, but there isn't any music playing.

And for those of you who were born in the post-cassette player era. Um, well, never mind.

I guess I need to assume a CBA deal will get done and I should start paying attention to the upcoming NFL draft. It's not like football will be gone forever, even if there is a lock-out.

News (or lack thereof) from my favorite team:

The Vikings smartly re-signed Brian Robison to a new three-year deal. I do believe Robison will take Ray Edwards' place at defensive end and will be just as effective.

Sidney Rice and Ray Edwards have a first round tender placed on them. You never know, someone may bite. I would prefer to keep both, but I don't think either one want to be here.

After cutting ties with Tarvaris Jackson, it sounds like the Vikings considered trading for Kyle Orton over the weekend, but the deal never went past the talking stage. The rumor from Winter Park is that Vikings brass don't believe Joe Webb is "even close" to being ready as a starter. New OC Bill Musgrave is a quarterback guy, so I trust his judgment.

I am waiting for the Redskins to release Donovan McNabb. I'm also waiting for the Bengals to release/trade Carson Palmer. The Bengals say it won't happen, but I think it will. I guess nothing will happen until a new deal is in place.

More rumors seem to indicate the Vikes are looking at a QB in the 12th overall spot. Which, of course, means that is precisely what they are NOT looking at. But we'll see.

The top three QBs, at least according to ESPN (you have to pay for most of the draft information on ESPN. Does Mel Kiper really think I care that much about his opinions - the god-like skills of Jimmy Clausen, anyone? - that I would actually pay for them?), is Missouri's Blaine Gabbert, Auburn's Cam Newton and Washington's Jake Locker. KFAN's Paul Allen has been all over Locker for the past six months, so we'll see.

Of course all of this is of moot point if the Vikings do not get some sort of stadium deal in place. I said a year ago if such a deal isn't in place, they will be in another state in 2012. I still believe that to be true - especially now with the Metrodome fiasco.

Anyway, in a later post, I will project my own little mock draft. It is a meaningless exercise, but it is kind of fun.

Meanwhile, March Madness is upon us. Basketball isn't my favorite sport (I think basketball players, next to soccer players, are the biggest drama queens in all of sport), but I do enjoy the tourney.

Time to get in a bracket state of mind...

Wishful thinking

2011-03-01T09:29:00.000-06:00

I hope to pull myself out of my football slump eventually. As of right now, the Vikings don't have a functional stadium and the players don't have a functional contract with the NFL - at least they won't in 48 hours. Things don't look optimistic.

Gophers basketball has been a huge disappointment this year, but at least I have the Twins to look forward to, although Justin Morneau is still, supposedly, suffering from post-concussion syndrome from a knock on the head sustained back in early July. The team is not forthcoming regarding when he will return to the line-up... if ever. I think it is time for the Twins to be honest and tell the public what is really wrong with Morneau.

Meanwhile, I took a picture this morning, a portrait of my current state of mind. I call it "Wishful Thinking."

Wishful thinking on a cold March morning in Minnesota.

An Icon?

2011-02-23T21:09:00.000-06:00

I haven't posted too much lately because I am waiting for the NFL to get their crap in one sock. But every now and then a little something pops up that I can't help but comment on.

And today I have something to say about my favorite a$$hole, Scam Newton. You see, there's a fine line between confidence and arrogance. And good ol' Scam has crossed that line. Not that I am shocked.

In a recent interview, after signing a lucrative deal with Under Armour, and before even being drafted in the NFL, ~~Brady Quinn~~ Scam Newton called himself "an entertainer and an icon."

Really?

To borrow a quote from Dan Akroyd: "Scam, you ignorant slut."

Wow. Icon. We don't think too much of ourselves, do we?

Mr. Newton has started exactly 14 Division I games - all of them in the 2010 season. Yep, 14 games - less than one NFL season. And he's already elevated himself to iconic status.

I'll say it again: Wow.

Sure, he's won the Heisman. So has Troy Smith. And Matt Leinart. And Jason White. And Eric Crouch. And Chris Weinke. And Danny Awful. And a plethora of players you've never heard from since.

But Scam is different. He's an icon... at least in his own mind.

Wow.

I tell ya what... Jim Thorpe is an icon. Red Grange is an icon. Bronko Nagurski is an icon. Something tells me little Scam has never heard of any of these guys. (His dad might remember them, but he obviously doesn't communicate with his dad. Or at least they don't talk about football matters. Especially when illegal money is involved.)

Sorry, Scam, but when a young, ignorant and arrogant guy such as yourself oozes with such self-importance, I can't wait to watch you fall flat on your face. And it will happen. Allow me to apologize in advance for laughing at you, just like I laughed at Vince Young, Brady Quinn, Ryan Leaf, Kyle Boller and JaMarcus Russell - all cocky, young and arrogant, and all "icons" in their own right. Icons of failure.

And it's going to be a hard, hard fall.

Football in Fresh Air

2011-02-12T21:53:00.001-06:00

I'm being a little lazy here, but I ran across an extraordinarily well-written article on the Bleacher Report by Walter Kleinvogel. This guy says it all and it makes complete sense to my simple mind. It is a bit lengthy (I edited some of it to save time and space), but the man makes some extremely valid points. Well worth reading for any Vikings fan...

For the Minnesota football purist, it would be a dream come true. The Minnesota Vikings, outside again. Snow. Steam. Grass stains. An opportunity to recapture an identity the team has lacked since 1982.

But what about the bottom line?

Team owner Zygi Wilf has expressed his preference for an open-air stadium since purchasing the team in 2005. The state and local politicos have had other ideas, stressing the need for a roofed venue able to host winter events.

A "people's stadium," in the words of Ted Mondale. Visions of Super Bowls, Final Fours, winter concerts and monster truck rallies dance in their heads. A veritable tsunami of dollars overflowing the state as the entire world turns its attention to Minnesota's new "multi-purpose facility."

And it's a lot of hogwash.

The price of an open-air stadium has been estimated at $700 million, of which the Vikings have expressed a willingness to pay one-third. As the team does not require a roof and its owner would prefer not to have one, they have no interest in contributing toward its cost. Recent figures put the price of a fixed roof near $200 million.

Two hundred million dollars. Nearly the entire cost of the University of Minnesota's new football stadium.

If you're eager to know what kind of winter events a "people's stadium" could expect to host, a quick glance at the Metrodome's schedule will give you an idea. You'll find "Rollerdome" and jogging sprinkled with the occasional garden show, which could have been housed just as easily at the Convention Center only a few blocks away.

Where are the winter concerts? Nowhere. The vast majority of modern concert tours prefer venues in the range of 20,000 seats. The rare act that can sell out a 70,000-seat arena will invariably tour the upper Midwest during the summer months in order to hit the region's sweetest plum, Chicago, and its open-air venues.

There are only a handful of events afforded by a closed stadium which actually bring outside dollars into the economy. Most significantly, Super Bowls and Final Fours. But the financial impact of "mega events" is grossly exaggerated.

Victor Matheson, a sports economist at the College of the Holy Cross, questioned the responsibility of Miami's recent proposal to add a roof to Sun Life Stadium in hopes of attracting more Super Bowls. "The Super Bowl is worth $30 million to $90 million," he said. “You could host a Super Bowl every year for the next 20 and be lucky to recoup your costs.”

Houston hosted Super Bowl XXXVIII in 2004 at their brand new, retractable roof stadium. Event boosters promised "economic impact" exceeding $330 million. However, when all was said and done, Houston's controller counted a total net profit of $913,397.

The supposed economic impact of a Final Four is far less than that of a Super Bowl. Event boosters tend to assume an average impact of about $30 million. While the real number is likely even less, the modesty of the Final Four's marketeers is refreshing compared to the Super Bowl's hyperbolists.

The Twin Cities, for all they offer, are not a desirable February vacation destination. It would be unreasonable to assume that a new stadium would host more than one (promised) Super Bowl in its lifetime. A facility might also expect to host a pair of Final Fours over the next 30 years, just as the Metrodome did. The combined overall tax impact on the state and local coffers, even using inflated numbers, might be something like $50 million.

Remember, a roof costs about $200 million. How many garden shows and Monster Jams would a facility need to host in order to make up the remaining $150-197 million to break even?

The Minnesota Sports Facilities Commission, in their Feb. 2, 2009, presentation to Minnesota House Local Government Division, indicated that the total tax revenue generated by the Metrodome in its near 30 years had totaled $245.6 million [over half generated directly by the Minnesota Vikings; the Twins and Gophers a distant second and third]. The tax revenue generated by rare concerts, one Super Bowl and two Final Fours were ultimately little more than a drop in the bucket.

It would be senseless to tack a $200 million "roof over nothing" onto an already overpriced stadium project. The events a lid could attract would never come close to covering its cost.

Now, consider that upkeep on open-air stadiums is substantially less expensive than on roofed facilities.

Consider also that the Vikings are likely to demand modernization of their facility in another 20 to 30 years, and while roofless stadiums can be expanded and renovated [look at Lambeau Field or Soldier Field], roofed stadiums generally need to be replaced completely.

If the politicos want a roofed stadium for the kind of (non) events the Metrodome typically hosts, they should be reminded that the Metrodome is still standing, is still suitable for anything but NFL football and is about to have its roof replaced by its insurers.

If they suggest that the Metrodome's non-Viking events aren't significant enough to support the building's upkeep, they must also not be significant enough to justify a $200 million roof on a new stadium.

Let's use that Arden Hills site. Let's build an inexpensive (relatively) open-air stadium with modern amenities and classic styling—like the Twins and Gophers have. Let's think about the events that can be hosted by an outdoor facility, like summer concerts, NHL Winter Classics and Big Ten Championships. Let's find creative uses for the stadium, like Foxborough's open-air Gillette Stadium, which is in use 360 days of the year.

Let's do it right this time. Let's get the real Vikings back.

Let it snow.

It's Over

2011-02-09T23:31:00.001-06:00

Well, that's it. Super Bowl is over.

The wrong team won (it should surprise no one who reads this blog regularly that I picked the wrong team to win. I'm an expert at doing that).

Christina was too busy trying to stuff too many notes into an old English drinking song and forgot the words, like the idiot she is (hey, if you're going to screw up, you might as well do it on the biggest stage in televised history, right?).

Even the commercials weren't very good, although this was my particular favorite:

But the game was good, and that was the most important thing... um, right? If anything, it proved once and for all how important turnovers really are.

So now we wait and see if the NFL is going to lockout. I don't think it will happen (which, of course, means that it will), but we can only take a wait and see approach now.

Meanwhile, something is bound to creep up in the NFL worth commenting about between now and then.

I'll just wait and see.

And wait for March Madness.

That Damn Sam's Super Bowl Prognostication!

2011-02-05T14:17:00.001-06:00

The Super Bowl is tomorrow. I'm looking forward to what should be a good game, but I'm also a little bummed because that will be the last football we see for six months (not counting games from yesteryear on ESPN Classic, which I really enjoy).

Or at least I hope it will be just six months. It depends whether the NFL and the NFLPA can get their crap in one sock and work out a CBA. I think they will. There's way too much to lose for both sides not to get something worked out.

In other news, I was surprised Bill Belichick was awarded the AP Coach of the Year. I'm still trying to figure that one out. While I realize the Patriots ended the regular season with the best record in the league, I'm not sure if that should be the grounds for winning the award.

To me, Coach of the Year should be given to the coach who either did the most with the least, or turned a team around from losers to winners.

My candidates would be (in no particular order):

Todd Haley, Chiefs. The Chiefs went from 4-12 in 2009 to 10-6 this year, winning the division for the first time since 2003. The Chiefs were an afterthought this season, as the Chargers were the big favorite and Josh McDaniels and the Broncos were the diamond-studded darlings of the division. As it turned out, McDaniels was fired and the Chargers sputtered. The Chiefs have a lot of great young talent. The future looks very bright.

Mike McCarthy, Packers. God, this makes me nauseous to even say it, but McCarthy's Packers endured injury after injury to star players and still found a way to get into the playoffs, win three road playoff games and are in the Super Bowl. How can I not nominate him for Coach of the Year?

Raheem Morris, Buccaneers. Even though the Bucs did not make the playoffs, Morris turned the team around in a big way, from 3-13 in 2009 to 10-6 this season. I think it's fair to say no one was expecting the Buccaneers to be this competitive, but Morris headed a great comeback season.

Mike Tomlin, Steelers. With his starting quarterback missing the first four weeks of the season, many wrote off the Steelers this year. Many felt they would be pretty good, but not championship caliber. But Tomlin has his team back in the Super Bowl for the second time in three years. Back in 2008, many said it was still Bill Cowher's team and Tomlin was just riding on his coattails (ala Barry Switzer circa 1995 or Jon Gruden circa 2002). No one can say this is Bill Cowher's team now.

My Super Bowl prediction -- I think it will be a good game, but the Steelers will take control in the fourth quarter. I think the Packers running game will be a non-factor and the Steelers D just has too many ball hawks for Aaron Rodgers to handle - assuming James Harrison, James Farrior or Troy Polamalu do not give him an early exit. The Steelers have too many weapons on offense, especially with the recent emergence of Emmanuel Sanders, and the "secret weapons" Heath Miller and Matt Spaeth. The Packers have been riding a wave of good fortune and (shall we say) favorable calls since week 16. I think that will finally come to a screeching halt in Dallas on Sunday.

Steelers 29

Packers 17

A Bad, Bad Decision

2011-01-28T06:43:00.001-06:00

I mention right here a couple of weeks ago that I was surprised Jeff Fisher had a job. You didn't have to be a mouse in the corner to know that there was a major power struggle going down in Nashville. Bud Adams announced earlier this month that he was going to waive Vince Young and keep head coach Jeff Fisher.

This struggle started years ago when Adams wanted to draft Vince Young and Jeff Fisher did not think the quarterback was NFL material. Adams got his way (he's signing the paychecks, after all), but Fisher turned out to be right.

The boss admitted (temporarily) he was wrong and when it came time to decide who stayed with the team, I was very surprised the crazy old fart actually made the right choice and stuck with his coach.

I spoke too fast.

"I'm Bud Adams and I'm crazy as hell."

Adams (and I can only assume it was Adams making this executive decision) has now reversed direction and has made a big, big mistake in asking for Fisher's resignation.

I'll say right now that no other coach in the NFL could get as much out of a piss-poor team like the Titans as Jeff Fisher has over the last two years. Yes, the Titans have Chris Johnson (a player the "experts" ridiculed Fisher for drafting) and that's about it. (Sorry, Randy Moss. You've quickly become a has-been.) Yet Fisher managed 14 wins with this bunch in the last two years.

Yes, it is true that Fisher never did win a Super Bowl with the Oilers/Titans. I suppose Adams can use that as justification if nothing else works. But Marv Levy, Bud Grant, Don Coryell and Dan Reeves never won a Super Bowl as a head coach either. Those guys weren't exactly slouches.

Fisher brought consistency and stability to the organization; something that most NFL organizations, in this era of "win now or else," lack. He coached the Oilers/Titans for 16 complete seasons (he took over halfway through the '94 season) and had just five losing records. That's not bad.

But it seems that Bud Adams could not put his ego aside and let a good football coach do his job. The Titans will suffer greatly from this poor decision.

Hmmm... I wonder of Leslie Frazier could create a position for another one of his old Chicago Bears teammates? That would suit me just fine.

Thud!

2011-01-27T01:53:00.001-06:00

From Katchop's web site. Well done, my friend.

The louder they yap, the harder they... THUD.

I hate to jump on the dog pile, but this is pretty funny.... I wonder if these are selling like hotcakes in the Windy City right now?

<<>>

And to answer Redskin Doug over at Fumbled Returns - who, on my last post, left the comment: "Who are you going to root for in the Super Bowl?"

Doug, Doug, Doug. Oh, Redskin Doug.... [shaking my head]

The best way for me to answer is this: if the Cowboys were in the Super Bowl, would you cheer for them?

Allow me to state here and now, being of sound mind and body (more or less) that I will never, ever cheer for the Green Bay Packers in a trillion years.

I would rather drink ox urine from a beer tap.

(Actually, that might not be so bad. I mean, it can't be any worse than Stroh's, right?)

The Toughest Thing I've Ever Had To Write

2011-01-26T00:23:00.000-06:00

This is a tough entry to write. Maybe the hardest one I've ever had to sit and compose since I started writing this blog nearly three years ago.

I am forced to tip my hat to the Green Bay Packers.

I don't know if I can do this.

Shit.

Okay, try again...

[cleansing breath... ...and exhale...]

Ahem...

The Packers did something remarkable this year.

First, they proved that injuries are just an excuse for losers.

Second, they proved that home field advantage in the playoffs is just a myth.

Third, they showed that duct tape is pretty darn strong.

I mean, let's face it: the Pack had no business even getting into the playoffs. They placed an extraordinary number of players on IR this season - 17 altogether - which should have rendered them pathetically non-competitive. (by way of comparison, the Steelers IR'd just five players - including those injured in training camp)

Just a sample:

They lost star running back Ryan Grant - generally regarded as one of the top ten running backs in the league - in early September.

They lost linebacker Nick Barnett - the heart and soul of the defensive unit - in October.

Three days after Barnett went on IR, they lost tight end Jermichael Finley - one of the best tight ends in the league.

In November, starting offensive tackle Mark Tauscher was placed on IR.

Yet, the team found a way to keep on winning. One player would go down, another would step in his place and step up his game.

Then that player would go down and still another would step up.

Metaphorically speaking (because I like metaphors), they were being held together with duct tape.

But the team didn't make excuses.

As the season progressed, it became obvious to me that Aaron Rodgers has the "Peyton Manning Effect" on his teammates. It doesn't matter who you are, just get halfway open and he'll get the ball to you and make you look really, really good.

Just ask John Kuhn or James Starks or Andrew Quarless or Tom Crabtree. Or any other player on the Packers roster I hadn't heard of four months ago.

And if you are already really good, he'll make you look great. Just ask Greg Jennings.

Throughout the season I kept waiting for the bottom to fall out for the Packers - but it just never happened. They squeaked into the playoffs as the sixth seed. I thought surely the hammer would fall in the playoffs. You can't win in the NFL playoffs with a bunch of held-together-with-duct-tape misfits... especially on the road.

Right?

They won at Philadelphia, at Atlanta and at Chicago. Not an easy accomplishment.

That's just not supposed to happen.

But here we are. At the end of the day, it is about excellent coaching, good execution on the field and some pretty strong duct tape. Oh, and some gracious calls by officials at critical points in certain games (hey, I saw several of those games and the truth is the truth).

Still, a blogger has to do what a blogger has to do: I begrudgingly tip my hat to the enemy on a job very well done.

There. I said it.

Now I'm going to go set myself on fire.

The Perfect Storm

2011-01-20T16:40:00.000-06:00

It seems a fitting end to a nightmarish, soap opera season for Vikings fans. The perfect storm, so to speak. The Vikings' two sworn, arch-rivals are playing each other for rights to the Super Bowl on Sunday. This is going to take some liquid encouragement to watch - but I admit it will probably be a very entertaining game.

The Packers and Bears have played every season since 1920 - the oldest rivalry in the league - and I believe this is only the second time they have met in the post-season. The first time was in 1941. Exactly seventy years later, they square off again. The winner goes to the Super Bowl. The loser goes home. I have to confess it would be fun to be at Soldier Field on Sunday. If I could go, I'd wear a Favre Vikings jersey and see how badly I'd get beaten up. You know, just for fun.

As it is, I guess I'll go to Buffalo Wild Wings and watch the game by myself and call a cab home.

The good news on the Purple front is I like what Leslie Frazier is doing already. Bringing in Mike Singletary is a great move. I still think Singletary is a damn good coach and I've said nothing but good things about him in this blog. Bill Musgrave is a good addition as offensive coordinator and Fred Pagac is promoted from linebacker coach to defensive coordinator.

In a radio interview this afternoon, Frazier said, "I think we can get this thing turned around in very short order." I just have this gut feeling that this guy knows what he's doing. I don't know why, but I just get good "vibes" from him.

Skol Vikings!

And to the Bears and Packers ... break a leg.

Literally.

Fantasy Life

2011-01-19T19:39:00.000-06:00

Real or fake? I'm not sure, but it IS funny!

This and That

2011-01-13T16:30:00.000-06:00

A little slow to be posting anything new and exciting from the football world. It's rather ironic, since this is the most exciting time of the year next to opening weekend.

I must say I thoroughly enjoyed the Seahawks' victory over the Saints last Saturday. It was totally unexpected - but like I texted to some of my buddies, "That's why they play the game!"

I also love how Marshawn Lynch's game winning gallop literally caused a small tremor, measured by the Pacific Northwest Seismic Network. The power of the 12th Man. That's what football is all about, kids!

In a way, the Seahawks are giving me the same kind of feeling the Indianapolis Colts gave me in 1995. A mediocre team that everyone overlooked in the playoffs. And the Colts ended up one play away from going to the Super Bowl that year.

Look out Chicago. They've already beat you once this year.

I also enjoyed the incredibly fast-paced national championship game on Monday night. But I'm still 100% in favor of a playoff system. It would make an exciting game even better.

I also think TCU got screwed. They deserved at least a share of the National Championship. Could they beat Auburn? We'll never find out. But most people didn't think they could beat Wisconsin - enough said.

I think Jim Harbaugh should have stayed at Stanford.

I love how Les Miles officially stated that he "wants to show his commitment to his players and the school he represents," after he interviewed (and wasn't offered) the Michigan head coaching job. Way to show your commitment, coach.

I am surprised Bud Adams chose to keep Jeff Fisher and part ways with Vince Young. Adams wanted to draft Young and he got what he wanted, even though Fisher didn't think Young was NFL material. Fisher was right. Adams was wrong. Somehow, Fisher still has a job.

There's no doubt this is how Bud feels about the whole situation:

Bud, you get an "F"

Alternate logo to be worn by the Titans next year

Lastly, at least for this weekend, all I can say is "Go Patriots!"

Overtime Rules

2011-01-07T15:44:00.000-06:00

My brother Bob brought up a great point on his comment about NFL overtime rules. It turns out, he was right. If team A kicks a field goal on their first possession, team B gets a possession. If team A score on touchdown on their first possession, the game is over and team B does not get a possession. I didn't realize this was the case. Like I've said all year long, I used to understand football really well.

Another question (one that I asked back in March 2010 when the new OT rules were put into place) is why did the NFL, in its infinite wisdom, apply the new rules to playoff games only? Essentially, these first four games this weekend are experiments (if they go into OT). I think a rule is a rule is a rule. Playoff games should not be experimental. Any rule that applies to the regular season should apply to the post-season and vice-versa. But that's just me.

This could be a a disaster waiting to happen.

I still wonder what would happen if an INT is then fumbled and the offensive team ends up retaining possession when the whistle blows. Is the game over because the ball changed possession, even though it changed possession again before the play was over??

Here are the official rules copied verbatim from the NFL's web site:

• Both teams must have the opportunity to possess the ball once during the extra period, unless the team that receives the opening kickoff scores a touchdown on its initial possession, in which case it is the winner.

• If the team that possesses the ball first scores a field goal on its initial possession, the other team shall have the opportunity to possess the ball. If [that team] scores a touchdown on its possession, it is the winner. If the score is tied after [both teams have a] possession, the team next scoring by any method shall be the winner.

• If the score is tied at the end of a 15-minute overtime period, or if [the overtime period's] initial possession has not ended, another overtime period will begin, and play will continue until a score is made, regardless of how many 15-minute periods are necessary.

New Rules

2011-01-05T09:10:00.000-06:00

As we enter the first round of the NFL playoffs this weekend, don't forget new rules will now be in effect for overtime. Now both teams are allowed a possession in overtime, instead of the "sudden death" concept.

And this leads me to a question which I heard on the radio this morning.

Let's say the Packers and Eagles go into overtime. The Packers kick a field goal and now the Eagles get the ball.

Let's say the Eagles are driving and suddenly Michael Vick scrambles out of the pocket and fumbles the ball... and Clay Matthews recovers the fumble and (God knows why?) takes off with the ball. DeSean Jackson runs up behind Matthews and strips him of the ball and the Eagles recover the Packers' fumble.

Is it the Eagles ball or is the game over because the Packers had momentary possession of the ball?

Purple Thoughts on the Year

2011-01-03T10:56:00.000-06:00

One of the things I love about the NFL is just when you think you've got it figured out, you realize you haven't got a clue!

As a Vikings fan, that statement could not have been proven more true than this year. Coming off a fantastic 2009 season, losing the NFC Championship in overtime to the eventual Super Bowl champion Saints, most Vikings fans were primed for the season in 2010, myself included.

But it didn't turn out quite that way.

A quick review of the Vikings season...

First was the Brett Favre "will he or won't he?" rerun from 2009. It turned out he did... but he probably shouldn't have.

Then Sidney Rice decides to have hip surgery in late August after sitting on the pot for five months.

With the season going south, Brad Childress trades to acqiure Randy Moss from the Patriots. YES!

...Wait, NO! Moss lasted just a month before being released after telling Zygi Wilf that Childress should be fired... and then berating a local caterer. Brad Childress puts a shiny new fourth round pick in Bill Belichick's back pocket. You're welcome.

Then Brad Childress loses complete control of the team. The Vikings are humiliated by the Packers at home. Wilf heeds Moss's words (now a Tennessee Titan) and Chilly's fired.

Enter Leslie Frazier.

Then it is exposed that Brett Favre is just a horny old man trying to bag a chick half his age. Nothing was proven; and let's face it, if you were Favre, would you be interested in this?
Okay, that was a totally stupid question....

Then the roof caves in. Literally. The antique Metrodome marshmallow top collapses, leaving the Vikings an orphan team.

The Vikings play a make-shift Monday night game at TCF Bank Stadium (and convinced many, Zygi Wilf and myself included, that the Vikings really should take it outside).

Then a blizzard hits Philadelphia and the pussy Eagles fans don't want to drive in the snow, (or is it Philly's mayor didn't want Vick to play in the snow?) so the Sunday night game is moved to Tuesday night. And the Vikings surprise everyone with a big upset win, anyway.

Lastly, the Vikings lose to the Lions in the last game of a very forgettable (or unforgettable, depending on your perspective) season and the Purple Pride end up in the basement of their division for the first time since 1990.

And to think the this team was considered a Super Bowl contender in August? Just when you think you've got it figured out.

But some good things have come out of this season, believe it or not.

Leslie Frazier - I think he's the best thing to come along for the Vikings organization in years. I think the guy has class, character, he's got a great football mind and he's a proven winner. He inherited one of the most dysfunctional teams to come along in years and ended up 3-3 (he won as many games in six tries as Childress did in 10 tries). I've no doubt Frazier will surround himself with a quality cast of characters. The best decision the Vikings could make right now is hiring Frazier as the Man and it sounds like that is exactly what is going to happen.

Joe Webb - He is raw and very inexperienced, but there is definitely something there to work with. He made his share of bone-headed decisions in the limited number of snaps he's taken, but he also looked pretty damn sharp at times, too. I'm not sure if he's the direction the Vikings are going to go, but he's shown flashes of star material.

Toby Gerhart - Proved that he can effectively spell Adrian Peterson. Gerhart averaged 4.0 yards per carry (81 rushes) and 8.0 yards per reception (21 catches) and stepped up nicely when Peterson was gimpy. He's going to be a good one.

Brett Favre - the drama is over. Even if he comes back next year (hey, you never know) it won't be in Minnesota.

Lorenzo Booker - I thought this guy had loads of potential when he was with the Dolphins, but evidently nobody else did. Except for Leslie Frazier. Now that he is in a Purple uniform, I hope the Vikings decision-making machine find it logical to sign him to a long-term contract.

Percy Harvin - Migraine issues aside, he will play his ass off no matter what. He's tough as nails: a true football player. And he's just getting started.

^^^

The Vikings have some major decisions regarding free agency. The following players are free to go to greener pastures: Sidney Rice, Ray Edwards, Brian Robison, Ben Leber, Chad Greenway, Pat Williams, Ryan Longwell.

Obviously the potential is there for the Vikings defense to take on a whole new look in 2011. I do believe Edwards and Williams are as good as gone; but I hope the Vikings find a way to keep Sidney Rice around. It would be a shame to lose Leber, Robison and Greenway - we can only wait and see. The good news is Leslie Frazier knows defense. I have no doubt he will reconstruct the team into something competitive.

So goodbye, 2010. You sucked. But there is always next season.

Thank goodness.

Snot Bubble Football's 2010 Fantasy Awards

2011-01-02T11:30:00.001-06:00

Time for the Snot Bubble Football 2010 Fantasy Awards! In fairness, injuries will not be considered as a part of each player's overall performance - or lack thereof.

Draft statistics are taken from www.fantasyfootballcalculator.com 's immense data base (1,528 mock drafts during the week of September 5, 2010) and is based on a typical 10-team draft.

(stats were taken through week 16 for fantasy purposes | Scoring was based on the following scale: 1 point every 20 yards passing: 4 points every passing TD: 6 points every rush/rec. TD: 1 point every 10 yards rush/rec.: -1 point every turnover)

SHUT YO' FACE AWARD:

Chris Johnson, RB, Titans. Back in August, Johnson... excuse me, "CJ2K" as the ESPN talking heads insisted on calling him (funny how that nickname has fallen by the wayside, isn't it?) proclaimed that he was going to rush for 2,500 yards. I berated Johnson right here for making this declaration, categorizing Johnson as an idiot. And I was right. At the end of the fantasy season (week 16 in my world), Johnson rushed for a grand total of 1,325 yards. A very good season for sure, but 1,175 yards shy of his lofty proclamation. Hye, shooting for the stars is fine, but keep it real, man. CJ2K, Shut Yo' Face.

MOST SURPRISING QUARTERBACK:

* Michael Vick should win this award, but the only award Vick will ever win on this blog is "A$$hole of the Century." Now that we've established that little fact, let us continue...

Runner-Up: Kyle Orton, Broncos. Orton cooled off considerably after week 12 and ended up losing his starting job, but up to that point he was an absolute force to be reckoned with - second only to Aaron Rodgers and Philip Rivers in QB fantasy points. He was the #23 quarterback taken in an average 10-team draft. I'd say his lights-out performance was pretty surprising. Who saw that coming?

Winner: Josh Freeman, Buccaneers. Did you project Josh Freeman to be a top 10 fantasy quarterback this year? (If you said "yes," I will look you in the eye and call you a liar, liar, pants on fire.) But Freeman ended up in the top 10 at his position through week 16. He's not a fantasy stud, at least not yet, but if you were looking for a consistent, solid quarterback no one surprised me more than Freeman - and I won my playoff game in week 15 thanks to him! Not bad for a player not even cracking the top 24 quarterbacks taken in an average draft.

MOST DISAPPOINTING QUARTERBACK

Runner-up: Jay Cutler, Bears. Fantasy owners who drafted Cutler, hoping he'd put up Kurt Warner circa 2001-type numbers under Mike Martz, were severely disappointed. Cutler was just the #17 ranked fantasy quarterback through week 16. The Bears won the division and a first round bye, but Cutler was just average.

Winner: Donovan McNabb, Redskins. I honestly thought McNabb was going to be really good this year. I think we all know the story here. "Disappointing" is probably not the right word.

Dishonorable Mention: Kevin Kolb, Eagles. Kolb was on average the #9 overall quarterback taken in a typical draft, which meant he was a starter in a 10-team league. This is why you draft a quality back-up.

Dishonorable Mention II: Jason Campbell, Raiders. I thought Campbell was a perfect fit in Oakland. I thought he had a wonderful opportunity to start fresh and show the NFL what he could do with a new team and a new environment. What the hell do I know??

MOST SURPRISING RUNNING BACK:

Runner-up: Arian Foster, Texans. Foster performed so incredibly well this year that it seems odd to call him a surprise; however, no one, and I mean no one, had him projected to be more than a RB2 this season. He was the #16 RB taken in the average 10-team fantasy draft. He ended week 16 as the #1 fantasy running back in the land. An amazing story. But the winner of this award has an even better story...

Winner: Peyton Hillis, Browns. Hillis wasn't even on the fantasy radar in August and September. In fact, fantasy owners not from Cleveland didn't even know who this Hillis character was. But owners who picked him up after his week 3 breakout game looked like stinkin' geniuses. Hillis ended the 2010 fantasy season as the #2 overall fantasy running back. Hands down, the most surprising running back - and player - of 2010.

MOST DISAPPOINTING RUNNING BACK:

Runner-up: Cedric Benson, Bengals. Benson was a comeback player of the year in 2009 and expectations were very high going into 2010. Unfortunately, he struggled right along with the rest of the Bengals, just barely cracking 1,000 yards rushing and just seven TDs. Cedric had flashes of big time play during the season, but he just didn't look like the Benson '09 model that fantasy owners were expecting, leaving many fantasy footballers banging their heads against the wall.

Winner: Shonn Greene, Jets. Greene was projected to have a breakout year - some experts were calling him a top 10 running back, and he was, on average, the #11 running back taken in a typical draft. But there was one little problem called LT. No one expected LaDainian Tomlinson to play like he was 25 again and Greene was relegated to "the other guy" role. Greene ended up the #35 running back in fantasyland and a very disappointing two measly touchdowns. Owners who grabbed Greene early in their draft were asking themselves "WTF?" by October.

MOST SURPRISING RECEIVER:

Runner-up: Brandon Lloyd, Broncos. Lloyd was just an also-ran at the beginning of the season. In fact, Lloyd didn't even show up on the fantasy radar after 64 receivers were selected in a typical 10 team league. But he had a breakout season - my nominee for "Comeback Player of the Year" - leading the league in receiving yards through week 16. Who knew?!

Winner: Steve Johnson, Bills. Who? What? Johnson came out of absolutely nowhere (well, actually, he came out of the University of Kentucky) and emerged as the #9 overall fantasy receiver at the end of week 16. Another one of those fantasy zero to fantasy hero stories. Johnson is my runner-up to Peyton Hillis for surprise player of the year.

MOST DISAPPOINTING RECEIVER:

Runner-up: Larry Fitzgerald, Cardinals. Just what made fantasy owners believe the experts when they said Fitzgerald was going to continue his fantasy stud-like numbers with a schmuck under center? I'm glad I didn't listen to them. Fitz was taken (on average) in the second round in a typical 10-team draft... and just barely cracked the wide receiver top 20 at the end of week 16. That is, by definition, a disappointment. The bigger they are the harder they fall. Speaking of which...

Winner: Randy Moss, ~~Patriots~~ ~~Vikings~~ Titans. Moss's average draft position was the 9th pick in the first round in 1,528 mock drafts in the beginning of September. Just goes to show that Lincoln was right: You CAN fool all of the people some of the time. Where does Moss go from here? That's the real question.

There you have it, the Snot Bubble 2010 Fantasy Awards! Agree? Disagree? Feel free to leave a comment!

Thoughts on the 2010 Fantasy Season

2010-12-30T21:05:00.000-06:00

I'm not sure what I did, but I must have pleased the fantasy football gods in 2010, because they chose to look upon me with favor this year. Yes, it's been a very successful year for me and my favorite hobby.

My run of good luck goes all the way back to February 2010 when I finally won the More Beer Fantasy Football Playoff Challenge. I had placed 2nd and 3rd in the past, but always missed top honors by this much. I finally put it all together in February and won the grand prize.

It turned out to be a nice foreshadowing of what was to come. I won my first division title in five years in More Beer League this season, ended up with the most points in my division and the second-most points in the league. Unfortunately my Big Brown Beavers choked in the first round of the playoffs. I guess you can't win 'em all.

In Frozen Loon League my Norway Drive Dragons also had the second-most points in the league, but I entered the playoffs as a wild card. Nonetheless I managed to get to the championship game for the third consecutive year and just managed to defeat Northern Freeze after Freeze's Michael Vick and Adrian Peterson damn near gave me heart failure in the second half of Tuesday night's game. Whew. Hey, a win is a win - and I claimed my first league championship in Frozen Loon this year.

In my ESPN Stay Retired Brett League, my Sam's Skunks team dominated the league with the best record and most total points in the league and I went on to roll to victory in the championship game, winning my first championship in that league as well!

The only league I did not do well in was the Fumbled Returns League of Experts. My Vikings team (now re-named, rather aptly, Bumbling Bees) was pretty dreadful and I ended the season 5-8. Next year will be better.

But all in all, it was an excellent 2010, and the monetary winnings don't suck either. Best of all, it prevents my wife from complaining about me buying and studying fantasy magazines, stats and trends which usually begins in the early summer and goes through draft night in September. Sometimes all that work pays off.

I guess I should make a sacrifice to the fantasy football gods on New Year's Eve for continued luck in 2011. Because let's face it: it really is 99% luck.

Thanks for reading Snot Bubble Football this year. There's waaaaay more to come in the New Year.....

Waiting...

2010-12-27T17:53:00.000-06:00

I feel like Mike Singletary did on Sunday night... waiting for the executioner.

In my championship game in Frozen Loon League, I lead by 44.8 points. My opponent, Northern Freeze, has Michael Vick and Adrian Peterson left to play. I benched Jeremy Maclin on Sunday morning because of the blizzard in Philadelphia. I went to bed (having worked the night shift) and when I woke up a few hours later, I was sick to learn the game had been moved to Tuesday. I would never have benched Maclin in any other circumstance and it will likely cost me a fantasy championship.

In my ESPN Stay Retired Brett League I have WON the championship game! There was no money riding on the championship, but I do get bragging rights.

So the wait continues. I'm afraid my lead in Frozen Loon League is not enough. I predict I will get beat late in the four quarter and my third consecutive trip to the championship game will be in vain again.

But you never know...

Cheese with that Whine...

2010-12-22T14:01:00.000-06:00

I hate whiners. I especially hate football players who are whiners.

Lately, many players - especially those wearing the black and gold of the Pittsburgh Steelers - have been whining about getting fined by the NFL for illegal hits.

The truth is, they are getting fined because... well, because their hits are illegal. They are cheap shot artists. They have been for years. They clearly don't understand the rules, and if they do, they are too stupid to follow the rules.

But this week, a Steeler is whining and I have to agree with him.

Steelers safety Ryan Clark is speaking up regarding his hit on Braylon Edwards last Sunday. Clark was flagged for a 15 yard penalty for a helmet-to-helmet hit on Edwards, but Clark says he did not make contact with ~~Miss Pisspants~~ Edwards' helmet.

First of all, I don't think any hit should be illegal on Braylon Edwards. I think players should be allowed to beat the living hell out of him. But that's just me.

I've seen a still photo of the point of contact during the particular play that Clark is referring to (which I am unable to post here, unfortunately) and Clark is right. There is no helmet-to-helmet contact. He popped Edwards in the shoulder pads, exactly like he should have. He should not have been flagged. And he certainly should not be fined.

Clark stated, "If I can't do that then I can't play football." He's exactly right.

Unfortunately, Clark ruined his argument when he complained about fines going to charity.

“[The league] wants to take money and give it here and give it there, but how about us having no [health] insurance? Families of five? Three kids? Put the money there." Clark was referring to a possible lockout in March which would evidently leave NFL players penniless.

Clark's salary this season is $1,707,280. Mr. Clark, don't talk to me about not being able to afford health insurance.

On second thought, Clark should be fined for being a pampered, ignorant prick.

Fine him into the Stone Age, Roger.

Take It Outside

2010-12-21T07:52:00.000-06:00

Despite the Vikings' pathetic effort against the Bears on Monday night (at least, what I could stomach to watch), I had a revelation of the future of the Vikings, should they remain in Minnesota.

It's very simple: football is supposed to be played outside. Vikings fans proved last night that the cold will not keep them away. Snow will not keep them away. Even a make-shift stadium environment with chaotic seating arrangements and no alcohol sales will not keep them away.

Hell, even a terrible team won't keep them away!

Even though the team - which has clearly given up - got pounded by the hated Bears, I was extremely proud of my fellow Vikings fans. A hearty, die-hard bunch we are.

And a new stadium, if it should ever come to fruition, must be an outdoor stadium in Minnesota. And last night absolutely, positively proved it.

More importantly, Zygi Wilf agrees with me. I wonder if he reads my blog? Here's a snippet from Sid Hartman's column in today's StarTribune:

Get ready for more outdoor Vikings games like the one Monday night if Zygi Wilf has his way.
The Vikings owner reiterated Monday that he is completely opposed to a stadium with a roof of any kind, including a retractable one.

"Football should be played outdoors," Wilf said before the 40-14 loss to the Bears, "and for the Vikings in the past, the weather has given the Vikings a big advantage."

A covered stadium would cost a minimum of $200 million more than an open-air one, according to Wilf. A great fan of the New York Giants in his youth, Wilf pointed out how successful the Giants have been from an attendance standpoint and also how successful the team, the winner of three Super Bowls, has been in the past playing outside.

In meeting with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell on Monday, Wilf also expressed his thoughts about an open-air stadium to him.

Saving $200 million, making fans happy and giving the team a true home advantage -- like the Talking Heads once said, "Stop making sense."

In fantasy news, I have gotten to the championship game in one two of my ESPN leagues (Stay Retired Brett League).

I have also managed to get to the championship game in my 12 team money league, Frozen Loon, for the third consecutive year. So far, I have been a bridesmaid each time. Here's hoping the third time's the charm!

The War Continues...

2010-12-16T20:33:00.000-06:00

May the junior high bitch fest continue between the Jets and Patriots. I just love this!

By now we all know that the Jets strength and conditioning coach, Sal Alosi, has been suspended for the rest of the season for tripping a Dolphins player last week.

Well, if the Jets did something wrong, then the Patriots must have done something wrong at some point in time too... right? Right!

Some old footage has surfaced of Bill Belichick impeding the progress of Marvin Harrison way back in 2004... (yeah, the Jets are desperate to point out "The Patriots were evil before we were!"). It is odd that nothing was made of this play when it happened, but Wild Bill obviously jumps in Marvin's path to prevent him from returning to the field of play after the Patriots intercept a Manning pass.

Rotund Rex is digging pretty deep to go all the way back six seasons ago to uncover a single play proving his coaching staff isn't alone in the sinister world of interfering with players.

Life at the Bottom

2010-12-15T19:57:00.000-06:00

The Minnesota Vikings have officially signed Patrick Ramsey.

Patrick frickin' Ramsey. And right now, it sounds like he is the favorite to start on Monday night... wherever the game is going to be played.

A quarterback learning an NFL playbook in four days?

Make it official: it does not get any worse than this.

A collapsed stadium. An interim head coach. Controversies every single week. More and more talk of the Vikings heading to the West Coast.

It's just not much fun being a fan of the Purple and Gold right now. Only die-hards remain. The Fairweather Johnsons jumped ship long ago.

Yes, this has been the most pathetic, forgettable Vikings season I can remember. Even worse than the Les Steckel debacle of '84.

And to think I thought they had a legitimate shot at getting to the Super Bowl this year.

Gives new meaning to the phrase, "That was last year."

No doubt.

This One's For You, Bud!

2010-12-13T17:42:00.000-06:00

There's no doubt that Bud Grant's granite-like countenance must have something resembling a smile today.

Sunshine and snow on a Vikings football field. For the first time in three decades.

And in a very real way, this picture is something of a metaphor for the entire Vikings season.

...The Harder They Fall

2010-12-12T11:54:00.000-06:00

Check out this remarkable footage... time for a new stadium!

<a href="http://msn.foxsports.com/video?vid=ca15cffb-3b66-49a0-84ca-20ed0a175567" target="_new" title="">NFL on FOX: Metrodome collapse</a>

Scam Newton

2010-12-10T11:16:00.000-06:00

Okay, the worst kept secret in college football is ~~Cam~~ Scam Newton is going to win the Heisman Trophy tonight. We all know that. But when I saw his interview last night, all I could think was, "This kid is a total frickin' creep."

Scam insists, rather cryptically, that he "did no wrong," in this pay-for-play controversy, in which his father (allegedly) asked for a six-figure wad of cash from Mississippi State in order to obtain a commitment from his son to play football there.

Not surprisingly, Auburn University, Scam's current school, has denied being involved in any such pay-for-play scheme and has determined that Scam is fully eligible to play football. It also happens that Auburn is playing in the so-called National Championship game next month, but I'm sure that had no bearing on the Auburn's findings whatsoever.

But watching Scam in his interview last night, with that smug little grin on his face and his well-rehearsed Mark McGwire-like proclamation that "I'm not here to talk about no reports," just made me chuckle. If you've got nothing to hide, why not talk about it openly and honestly?

Young. Stupid. Clearly lying.

And it becomes laughable when he claims that he has never talked about the pay-for-play controversy with his father. Really? The two haven't spoken about this? Not once? We are supposed to believe that?

The only logical conclusion I can draw is either 1) He has a horribly dysfunctional relationship with his father, or 2) He's lying (again) through his teeth.

Hey, maybe he really is an innocent pawn in this whole game. Could be.

But my gut feeling tells me he is a conniving little shit whose is sitting on a big wad of Benjamins. With his sly smile and cock-sure attitude, the entire football world at his command. Life is good for Scam.

However, professional athletes are not eligible for the Heisman.

Just ask Reggie Bush.

End of the Fantasy Regular Season

2010-12-07T15:38:00.000-06:00

I did my happy dance last night. For the first time in five years, I won the division in More Beer League, finishing 9-4 and placing second in the league in most total points.

That's $150 in my pocket (well, after expenses it is considerably less than that, but that's okay) - and now onto the playoffs where I face arch rival Mr. Kampen and his Brainerd Bulldogs. I swept the Bulldogs in the regular season which, of course, means I will get beat again in the first round.

The Bulldogs always beat me in the playoffs and I don't expect this year to be any different. On top of that, I've won five games in a row, which means I'm due to lose. I know it's coming - I'm sort of used to it by now. Of course I am going to field the best team possible - I want to win the league championship in the worst way - but I'm not optimistic.

Hey, at least I made a little money in fantasy football this year. If anything, More Beer League owes me money for the first time in a long time. And I don't have to buy the keg. That equals a successful season.

In Frozen Loon League I am in the playoffs, placing second in my division and getting the third overall seed in the conference playoffs. My record was 7-6... not great, but good enough. In the first round I play Southside Sharks, owned by Mr. Kampen - who else?

I crushed the Sharks in the regular season, which naturally means they will crush me in the playoffs. It's some kind of cosmic law that is repeated year after year. Needless to say, I have a feeling my playoff run will be one short week in both these leagues. We'll soon see.

In my ESPN leagues:

I did not do well in Fumbled Returns League of Experts, ending up with a crappy 5-8 record. I lost some close games, but had a pretty bad team so I'm not surprised I didn't do very well. This was by far my worst league this season. I didn't make the playoffs - and quite honestly, I didn't deserve to.

In the Stay Retired Brett League I did extremely well, ending with a 10-3 record, which was the best in the league (12 teams) and I had most total points in the league. In other words, I cleaned house! I'll be curious how the playoffs go; I've got a good shot to go deep.

Overall, a successful and very fun fantasy season. My record in all four leagues was a combined 31-21. Just about a .600 average. Not great, but pretty good. Good enough to do it all again next year!

"Turn Out the Lights..."

2010-12-06T11:35:00.000-06:00

Another of the greats has passed.

I remember him as a broadcaster - one of the quirkiest and most likable of all time - but he was also an All-Pro quarterback.

There'll never be another one quite like him. Godspeed, Dandy Don...

Sacrificing Sleep

2010-12-04T20:02:00.000-06:00

Fantasy football can really make you do some pretty desperate, silly things. I must admit that I'm going to do just that tomorrow.

In my 10 man league - More Beer League - it has been a battle for the division for the past 12 weeks. I have finally moved into first place and it is going to come down to week 13. My brother, Bob, is one game behind me and (as things turn out) I play him tomorrow. Whoever wins the game, wins the division and the $150 that comes with it.

Here's my problem: I have Adrian Peterson. I'm in the middle of my weekend of work, pulling night shifts until Monday morning. Weekends stink because I don't get a lot of sleep anyway, since my wife leaves for work by 2:30 PM.

But the situation as it is and the consequences as they are, I am going to be forced to set my alarm for about 11:45 AM, after about three hours of sleep, to see if Peterson is going to play. After making the proper adjustments to my line-up, it's back to bed for two more hours before getting up for the rest of the day at 2 PM and staying up until 9 AM Monday morning.

All in the name of fantasy football.

And I'll drink to that.

West Coast Bound?

2010-12-01T22:35:00.000-06:00

Will the Los Angeles Vikings keep this same old logo that Minnesota has had since the 1960s? I doubt it, but we may soon find out.

I mentioned months ago that I had this bad feeling that Minnesota would be without a professional football team in the near future, and it seems to be slowly coming to fruition:

ESPN reports two different groups interested in bringing an NFL team to Los Angeles have approached the Minnesota Vikings about possible relocation, Vikings vice president of public affairs Lester Bagley said in a chat on the team's website Tuesday. "We have been approached by two different groups in Los Angeles -- the Ed Roski group and more recently by former Timberwolves CEO Tim Leiweke and AEG," Bagley said in the chat.

Bagley said team owner Zygi Wilf and Vikings management toured L.A. Live, an entertainment complex located in the city's downtown area, in 2009. According to Bagley, the group was looking for ideas on building a similar entertainment district in Minnesota. The Vikings are in their final year of their lease at the Metrodome and have been pushing to get a new stadium approved.

When legislation rejects the new stadium bill, Wilf will not hesitate to move the team. It is a simple, logical business decision.

First Time Ever...

2010-11-30T22:23:00.000-06:00

There's just not enough time in the day to update stuff around here the way I'd like to, but an interesting stat from this Sunday needs to be mentioned, because it's never happened before:

On Sunday, Jamaal Charles and Dwayne Bowe became the first teammates in NFL history to post 170 rushing and receiving yards, respectively, in the same game.

I doubt that stat will be mentioned much in Seattle.

Isn't It Odd?

2010-11-29T17:17:00.000-06:00

It is kind of odd that the experts who said Boise State did not have a shot at the NCAA national title because their schedule was "too weak" are now saying Boise State's national title hopes were "snuffed out" because they did not end the season with a perfect record.

How can a team have their championship hopes "snuffed out" if they never had a shot at a title in the first place?

Talk about talking out of both sides of your mouth.

It's time somebody holds these blowhards accountable.

I have far more interest in real college football - the FCS national playoffs - where teams decide the outcome of games on the field, not by a computer and a complicated mathematical formula.

Go North Dakota State Bison!

Imposture!

2010-11-22T22:42:00.000-06:00

After learning that Brad Childress was not a real coach, but, in fact, the conductor of the Polar Express, Zygi Wilf quickly removed the imposture as Vikings head honcho.

Hmmm... Polar Express? Maybe that's why they call him "Chilly"??? It all makes sense now.

Phoney Baloney?

2010-11-20T21:22:00.000-06:00

Earlier this week fans were going berserk over Nike's allegedly new uniform/helmet designs for the NFL. Nike will be the official NFL supplier in 2012 and that is the year these new changes were supposed to take effect. The following was presented as Nike's "Pro Combat Uniform Designs."

But apparently these designs are fake. That's according to Nike and the NFL. This was just a ruse pulled off by a talented computer graphics artist... but can you imagine NFL players wearing some of these get-ups?

How about Ochocinco parading out onto the field in this little beauty?

Jacksonville's leopard print and New England's stars and stripes are not quite what I would consider intimidating:

I don't care what the Oregon Ducks say, feathers on the shoulder pads is just not cool - it's cartoonish. Check out Philadelphia's "high flying" outfit.

And the "wings" concept gets a little carried away (on the shoulders AND the legs!) with Arizona's Halloween costume.

And the feathers on the Chiefs new uniform actually borders on comedy! (Aaaaachooo!)

There is no way this uniform would fly in Pittsburgh. Art Rooney would be rolling over in his grave.

I think Vikings Nation would just stop coming to games if Minnesota took the field in this garb.

Like I said, these are apparently fakes.

But man... what if???

Breaking the Scoreboard

2010-11-16T21:44:00.001-06:00

There's no place in football for whining. That's just the way it is. But some times stuff happens that really gets sand in my craw.

I'm talking about Wisconsin's inexcusable 83-20 blow out over Indiana last Saturday. Actually, "blow out" is not the right word. I can't really even think of the right verb - "humiliation" doesn't seem to fit either.

Now, I have no allegiance to Indiana in any way. But I have to admit I felt bad for those kids. Unlike many folks, I watched much of that game and I kept wondering how those disgusting Wisconsin fans could even enjoy what they were seeing - other than the fact they were all drunk and pissing themselves and probably didn't even realize they were at a football game. (This is not atypical behavior in the land of beer and cheese.)

When it was all said and done, Wisconsin's head coach, Bret Bielema, undoubtedly wins the award for Douchebag of the Year in all of sports. Saturday's game was just icing on the cake.

I would be the first guy to say, "If you don't want the other team to run up the score, STOP THEM." In fact, I've said it before right here on this very blog.

But when you're leading 69-13 with seven minutes left in the fourth quarter and you throw a 74-yard bomb for a touchdown (such was the case on Saturday), you are a frickin' douchebag for calling that play.

Although perhaps the biggest douchebag in the story is Indiana's head coach, Bill Lynch, who said he didn't think Wisconsin was trying to run up the score. Huh? Ya know, Bill, there comes a point in time when saying the "correct" thing must be trumped by saying the right thing, even if it means you're going to face punishment by the NCAA.

And I really hope Coach Lynch is not that naive. If he is, he has no business coaching football on any level.

This is not, of course, the first time Wisconsin has run up the score this year. They humiliated Austin Peay earlier this season. When leading 56-3, they threw four consecutive times to score a TD to make it 63-3. They went on to win 70-3.

They also rubbed Minnesota's face in the dirt when they went for a two-point conversion near the end of a 41-23 thumping a few weeks ago.

You can call it classless, call it unsportsmanlike, call it what you want. But there is something very important that Coach Bielema should remember: what comes around goes around.

Some people would argue that Wisconsin has piled on the points to impress the BCS computer. Unfortunately, they are correct. And once again, it reflects everything that's wrong with college football.

But 69-13 is impressive enough, isn't it? Do you really have to pile on 83 points?

I guess you do you Bret Bielema's world.

Happy Ending

2010-11-14T08:30:00.000-06:00

I usually reserve this blog for football news, but some times a story comes along that's too good not to talk about.

On17 June 2010, a tornado ripped through the community of Wadena, Minnesota. This town is just nine miles north of my home town. The Wadena-Deer Creek High School took a direct shot from the twister and was condemned; school officials had to scramble to find temporary quarters for students during the 2010-2011 school year.

Life often has a way of playing itself out and providing happy endings, and this story is one of them.

The "homeless" Wadena-Deer Creek girls volleyball team won the Minnesota State Class AA State Championship yesterday, crushing the #1 seed Hutchinson Tigers and finishing the season with a perfect 33-0 record.

They did not lose a set in the state playoffs.

That's pretty awesome.

From the Crow's Nest - Week 8

2010-11-04T18:24:00.000-05:00

From the Crow's Nest

The week that was and the week that will be...

The Cowboys are on their first four game losing streak since 2002.

This coming Sunday, Peyton Manning will join Brett Favre as the only two quarterbacks to have started 200 consecutive games.

Dear Mike Shanahan: Nothing speaks "two minute drill" like Rex Grossman. Nothing speaks "cardiovascular endurance" like JaMarcus Russell. The Redskins are the "Guiding Light" to the Vikings "Days of Our Lives."

Matt Ryan has started 17 home games - he's won 16 of them.

Entering week nine, 21 teams are .500 or better - the most in NFL history through eight weeks. That would not include the Vikings, by the way.

The Chiefs look to defeat the Raiders eight consecutive times at Oakland this Sunday.

Terrell Owens now has 31 games with two or more TD catches. That's third most in NFL history.

Andre Johnson has hauled in 3,738 receiving yards since 2008 - the most for any receiver in that time span.

Robbie Gould has made 55 consecutive field goals inside 40 yards. We could call him "Automatica Grammatica," except his name isn't Grammatica.

Antonio Gates leads all backs and receivers with nine touchdowns. Somebody tell him he just a tight end.

The Raiders have won their last two games by a combined 75 points. The Raiders? Really?

Looks like the Seahawks got their first-round pick right this year: safety Earl Thomas leads all NFL rookies with four interceptions.

Philip Rivers has the most passing yards ever through the first eight weeks of an NFL season. Look out Mr. Marino, your single-season record could be in jeopardy.

Speaking of Rivers, he has 21 consecutive games with a touchdown pass - the longest active streak in the NFL.

LaDainian Tomlinson has joined Walter Payton as the only two players in league history to have 13,000 yards rushing and 4,000 yards receiving.

Dan Carpenter is the fourth kicker ever to have converted five field goals in two consecutive games.

Thomas Jones is now the first player in NFL history to rush over 500 yards for five different teams.

This Sunday night's Cowboys/Packers match-up looked pretty intriguing in August.

One of my candidates for break-out player of the year: Steve Johnson has tied a Bills franchise record with five TD catches in five consecutive games. Not bad for a player who caught just two passes last year.

The Detroit Lions victory was blacked out locally last Sunday. Sorry, there's something morbidly funny about that.

Brandon Lloyd is the first receiver in over 20 years to have over 800 yards receiving and average over 20 yards per reception through the first eight weeks of the season.

The Chiefs are averaging over 190 rushing yards per game. That's insane.

How the hell could the Jets not score a single point against a pieced-together Packers defense? It was the one and only time I wanted to see the Jets win this year. It figures.

Ahmad Bradshaw already has 10 rushes for 20+ yards.

The Cardinals have committed nine turnovers in their last two games. Maybe it's those stupid black jerseys?

Last week, Brett Favre became the first player ever with 10,000 passing attempts... no one else is even close (Dan Marino is in second place with 8,358 passing attempts).

LaGarrette Blount will be the offensive rookie of the year. Are you watching, Maurice Clarett?

An official for Guinness World Records who attended Sunday night's game counted at least 17,777 fans wearing costumes in the Superdome, making the game the largest recorded Halloween gathering. Yep, stupid things that you just need to know.

Here Today...

2010-11-01T21:07:00.000-05:00

So I got an e-mail alert on my Blackberry at 2:02 p.m. saying that the Vikings had waived Randy Moss. I read it about ten times and then turned on ESPN. Surely, this was a joke.

Some joke.

Just a month after I was heaping praise on the Vikings organization for bringing back the best receiver to ever play in purple (no offense, Cris Carter), the team has now waived him after three games, throwing away a third round pick in the 2011 draft.

Did this really just happen? Is this really the most effective way to deal with a player who has and always will wear his emotions on his sleeve... and who has never been the brightest bulb in the Christmas tree?

What in the world is going on at Winter Park? (And trust me, I am putting that in the cleanest, most politically correct language possible.) I've got this strange feeling that the Vikings are actually trying to make themselves the laughing stock of the league. (And they are doing a fine job of it!)

I must say that I have grown long tired of this soap opera called Brad Childress and the Minnesota Vikings.

I guess the message to all Vikings players is clear: if you dare criticize the coach or if the coach feels threatened by you, you will be cut. It doesn't matter who you are.

Look out, Brett. You're next.

Football Fruit Salad - Week 8

2010-10-29T12:19:00.000-05:00

Scouring the internet for facts, figures and every little speck of trivial crap you could possibly ask for to get your Week 8 started.

Welcome to That Damn Sam's...

Football Fruit Salad - Week 8

DeAngelo Hall is the 19th player in NFL history with four interceptions in a game.

Reggie Wayne needs just five more yards to join the exclusive 10,000-yard receiving club.

Browns punter Reggie Hodges had a 68-yard run on fake punt last week; that's the longest rush by punter since at least 1970.

Josh Freeman has won seven career starts. Five of them have been fourth quarter comebacks.

For only the fifth time in NFL history, two players had 200 yards receiving and two touchdown catches on same day: Roddy White and Kenny Britt

The Bears offensive line has given up a league-worst 31 sacks and 53 hits on the quarterback so far this season. Good job, Mike Tice!

In contrast, hats off to Kansas City's offensive line coach Bill Muir. The Chiefs O-line is averaging an amazing 176.5 rushing yards per game (best in the league), and Matt Cassel has been sacked just five times (fewest in league). You simply can't do any better than that.

Patriots linebacker Jerod Mayo leads the league with 72 total tackles.

Bucs tight end Jerramy Stevens was "quickly" cut from the team after his eighth arrest since 1998. His rap sheet includes everything from rape to DWIs to drug possession. He's a real asset to any roster.

52.6 points per game in week 7 is highest average for a week in 27 years.

It's been a historic season for Terrell Owens. He now needs one more 100-yard receiving game to surpass Don Maynard for fourth-most in league history.

The San Diego Chargers special teams have been ~~bad~~ ~~poor~~ awful this season. So far, they have given up three blocked punts, a blocked field goal, two kick-offs returned for touchdowns and a punt returned for a touchdown - and we're not quite halfway through the season.

Since joining the Saints in 2006, Drew Brees has 20,327 passing yards, which is the most in the NFL during span.

The Denver Broncos have a league-worst 68.4 rushing yards per game.

Larry Fitzgerald ranks #48 in receiving yards. Where was he taken in your fantasy draft?

If I had told you back in August that former first round bust Mike Williams would have more receptions and more receiving yards than Larry Fitzgerald through week 7, would you have accused me of smoking crack?

Jordan Shipley had his first career 100-yard receiving game week 7. He has just 10 fewer receiving yards than Larry Fitzgerald. ...who the hell is Jordan Shipley?

Chris Johnson has already touched the ball 180 times this season (rushing and receiving).

Who leads the league in interceptions? Brett Favre? Drew Brees? Nope, it's Eli Manning (11).

The Jets and Packers have met 10 times in the regular season. The Packers have won just two of those games.

Raheem Morris says his Buccaneers are the best team in the NFC. Most people are laughing at that statement. Okay, somebody prove him wrong.

The fact that Jenn Sterger will not speak to NFL investigators is iron-clad proof that the timing of her accusations against Favre (during the week of the Vikings/Jets Monday night game) were orchestrated entirely by the Jets. I'd LOVE to see how much money went under the table in that deal. Guess I'll have to wait for the made-for-t.v. movie.

With one more 100-yard rushing game, Steven Jackson will tie Marshall Faulk for second-most in Rams franchise history.

The Colts have not been swept by a divisional opponent since 2002.

Giants defensive end Osi ~~Omanyuri~~ ~~Ominyari~~ ~~Ronyary~~ - honestly, can we just call him Osi? I mean, he's the Yngwie Malmsteen of the NFL. Anway, you know who I'm talking about, right? He leads the league with seven forced fumbles. Osi, not Yngwie.

The Broncos play the 49ers in London this week, as part of the NFL's unrelenting attempt to shove football down the throats of a bunch a people who only care about "football" when it's called "soccer."

My laugh of the week: former Golden Gophers head coach Glenn Mason was a special guest "expert" on the Big Ten Network's "Behind the Scheme" show. I didn't realize the Big Ten Network was dabbling in comedy these days.

That Damn Sam's 11 Points of Light - Week 7

2010-10-26T10:47:00.001-05:00

11 Points of Light - Week 7

1. By the 10:10 mark in the second quarter, the Dallas Cowboys already had two interceptions and a punt return for a touchdown on their way to a Monday night blowout of the Giants. So I went to bed. Say, how much did the Cowboys end up winning by?

2. Why can DeAngelo Hall go to his knees in celebration, but Jared Allen can't? Let's cut the double standard, Mr. Goodell. Then again, Allen hasn't had a reason to go to his knees lately other than to beg for a sack.

3. Yes, Kenny Britt is on one of my fantasy teams. And no, I didn't start him. Thanks for asking.

4. Coach Childress blamed Sunday night's loss on Favre missing open receivers. Um, coach? Ever heard of challenging a play? Ever heard of using time-outs at the end of a half when you've got the best down field threat in the NFL? Blaming Favre solely for the loss is like Joan Rivers calling Rosie O'Donnell ugly. Frickin' idiot.

5. Gosh, it really isn't so difficult for players to stop leading with their helmet after all, is it?

6. The Raiders laid 59 points on the Broncos - the most in their 50 year history. Yeah, I saw that coming.

7. Passive coaching was a big part of the Vikings' loss, but Brett Favre threw three INTs in the second half, which the Packers converted into 14 points. Game, set and match, folks. You can't turn the ball over.

8. Colt McCoy was 9 of 16 for 74 yards. Drew Brees was 37 of 56 for 356 yards. Yet the Browns embarrassed the Saints, 30-17. I guess Brees' four INTs had a little to do with it, huh? You can't turn the ball ov... never mind.

9. A college football note: BCS experts have actually come out and said that Boise State and TCU "don't have a chance" to make it to the national championship game, even if both go undefeated. At the same time, #1 Alabama went down in flames. #1 Ohio State went down in flames. #1 Oklahoma went down in flames. Gee, the BCS is making its own argument why there simply must be a division 1 football playoff tournament.

10. Carolina beat San Francisco in what might have been the most insignificant week 7 game in NFL history.

11. In a non-football point, my hats off to the Texas Rangers who had a ginger ale celebration in the locker room after winning the American League pennant. This was done out of respect for Josh Hamilton, who has had a well-documented struggle with alcohol and drug addiction. That was a classy move.

Football Fruit Salad - Week 7

2010-10-22T15:14:00.000-05:00

Scouring the the internet for facts, opinions and every little speck of trivial crap you could possibly ask for to get your week 7 started.

Welcome to That Damn Sam's...

Football Fruit Salad

***

In a horrifying act of desperation, the Jacksonville Jaguars have re-signed former St. Cloud State party boy quarterback Todd Bouman. I don't think the bottom of the barrel can be scraped any more bare, can it?

No running back has gained more than 42 yards rushing against the Steelers defense this year.

Since to 2006, no player has gained more yards from scrimmage than Frank Gore (7,408).

Terrell Owens needs one more touchdown to be the fifth player in NFL history to score 150 touchdowns. He already has the second-most receiving yards in league history. Like him or hate him, he's Hall of Fame material based on his stats alone.

The Chiefs still have the most potent rushing offense in the league, averaging 164.6 rushing yards per game.

Drew Brees has never lost to the Browns as a starting quarterback (3-0).

Lovie Smith has never beat the the Redskins (0-3).

No doubt that rookie Sam Bradford looks like the real deal. Even more impressive is the no-name, anonymous group of skill position players he's working with: Danny Amendola, Billy Bajema, Brandon Gibson, Danario Alexander, Ken Darby, Mardy Gilyard, Daniel Fells, Michael Hoomanawanui and Mike Karney. Allow me to man up and admit I had never heard of one of those guys six weeks ago.

About the only familiar face on the Rams offense, Steven Jackson, needs just 32 yards to pass the great Eric Dickerson as the Rams' all-time leading rusher.

LaDainian Tomlinson is now the eighth player in league history to reach 17,000 yards from scrimmage. He is within 388 yards from scrimmage from passing Curtis Martin and 612 yards from passing Marcus Allen.

Eli Manning has joined Phil Simms as the only Giants quarterback to surpass 20,000 passing yards.

Kenny Britt has caught a touchdown pass in four consecutive games.

It is a shame that Paul Maguire is wasting his broadcasting talents on the UFL. I've always thought he was one of the more entertaining football analysts in the business. I really miss him and Theismann going after each other every Sunday night like a couple of angry chihuahuas.

Phil Dawson converted his 235th field goal in a Browns uniform, which is the most ever in franchise history (passing Hall of Famer Lou Groza).

Chad Henne has passed for over 300 yards in four of his last five home games.

The San Diego Chargers lead the league in Total Offense [yards per game] (432.7); Passing Yards per Game (316.2); Total Defense [least yards allowed per game] (255.2); and Least Passing Yards Allowed per Game (163.7). Yet they a miserable 2-4. That's an amazing stat.

Brandon Lloyd already has a league-high five receptions for 40 or more yards this season. He also leads the league in receiving yards. Yeah, Brandon-freaking-Lloyd.

Adrian who? Ahmad Bradshaw leads the NFC in rushing yards (582).

Chad ~~Johnson~~ Ochocinco is one touchdown away from becoming the Bengals all-time leader in touchdown catches. He's currently tied with good ol' Carl Pickens with 63.

A one-man wrecking crew: Giants defensive end Osi Omenyiora has had seven sacks and six forced fumbles in his last three games.

Hines Ward, who is already the Steelers' all-time leading receiver, now has a catch in 183 consecutive games, tying Hall of Famer Art Monk for 4th-longest streak in NFL history.

Peyton Manning put up the 60th 300-yard passing game of his career, which is third most in NFL history.

Frank Gore is now the third-leading rusher in 49ers history. Gore also has the most average rushing yards per game (76.4) in franchise history, holds the franchise record for most 100-yard rushing games (22) and has fumbled the ball just 26 times on 1,541 touches - which is to say when Gore touches the ball, there is a 99.984% chance he'll hang on to it. I'd call him a pretty damn good running back.

That Damn Sam's 11 Points of Light - Week 6

2010-10-19T21:25:00.000-05:00

1. Philip Rivers is the first quarterback to surpass 2,000 yards passing this season. Too bad his team sucks.

2. Dear Bryant McKinnie: Virginia Hokies offensive guard Greg Nosal had 1/4 of his pinky finger severed in last week's game after getting it caught in an opponent's face mask. Did Nosal get carted off the field like you did after you dislocated your finger? No, Nosal stayed in the game like a real offensive lineman. Enough said.

3. It's official: the Dallas Cowboys have personified the word "underachiever"... or is it "overrated"?

4. Chiefs linebacker Mike Vrabel now has 10 career receptions - all of them for touchdowns.

5. Mel Kiper Jr.'s little high school slut girlfriend, Jimmy Clausen, ["easily the most NFL-ready quarterback in the draft, Boomer. It's not even close."] has already been benched after three miserable starts. Thanks for the expert analysis, Mel.

6. The Washington Redskins secondary needs to stop wearing Teflon-coated/graphite powdered/KY Jelly-soaked gloves. Peyton Mannning threw to burgundy-colored jerseys no less than three times in the first half and all three passes were dropped by Redskins defenders. Woulda, coulda, shoulda...

7. Colt McCoy was the 11th Browns starting quarterback since the beginning of the 2004 season. Without cheating, can you name the other ten?

8. I really cannot figure out the St. Louis Rams. Not one bit.

9. LaDainian Tomlinson rushed for two touchdowns on Sunday. He now has 38 career games with at least two rushing TDs, the most in NFL history.

10. Devin Hester returned his 13th punt/kick-off for a touchdown. He has now tied Brian Mitchell for most all-time. Remind me, why would anyone kick to him?

11. You don't lead with your helmet. You don't use your helmet as a weapon. I learned that in junior high football. What's so revolutionary about this concept? Just wondering.

Pass on the Pass?

2010-10-15T12:58:00.000-05:00

I've noticed a fascinating trend in the NFL this season.

I've mentioned this in previous blogs: There have been seven 400-yard passing games through the first five weeks of the season. That is more than the entire decade of the 1970s, which saw just five 400-yard performances! (No, I'm not making that up!)

Now, these monster passing numbers are absolutely fantastic from a fantasy football perspective; but in real life, these huge stats present a conundrum (ah yes, I finally get to use that word!): Impressive as they may seem, they are a virtual manufacturing plant for losses.

The seven 400-yard passing games this year have resulted in a win-loss record of 1-6.

Significantly, in those six losses, the leading rusher for the losing team went over 75 yards just once (that was week 5: Tony Romo passed for 406 yards and Felix Jones rushed 109 yards... and the Cowboys still found a way to lose by a touchdown).

In four of those 400-yard passing games, the rushing was especially awful: week 1 (Addai, 44 yards); week 2 (Portis, 33 yards); week 3 (Maroney, 24 yards); week 5 (Mathews, 59 yards).

Is this just an oddball anomaly that we're seeing? Or is that old football axiom ringing truer than ever: "In order to be successful in football, you must be able to run the ball."

I favor the latter. Granted, the above stats may be skewed because teams simply abandoned the run, but it favors my argument. Here's why:

If you look at the top 13 leading rushers, you will find that just three (Adrian Peterson, Darren McFadden and Steven Jackson) play on teams with losing records. Eight backs in the top 10 play on teams with winning records.

Of the top 13 leading passers, seven have lost more games that they've won; in fact, of the top 10, an amazing 50% have losing records.

I think the message is pretty clear: You gotta be able to run the pig.

Just a little something to think about on this pleasant Friday.

Football Fruit Salad - Week 6

2010-10-14T13:12:00.000-05:00

Here's some "food for thought" to get your week 6 started...

At least one kickoff has been returned for a score in each of the first five weeks of the season. It is the first time that has happened since 1950.

Brett Favre has now passed for over 70,000 yards - or nearly 40 miles. This was accomplished on 9,942 pass attempts. No other arm in the history of the game has seen even close to that much punishment. And at 41 years old you wonder why his elbow has got tendinitis?

The Chiefs have not given up a single point off turnovers this season.

Max Hall is the first undrafted rookie quarterback to start and win against the defending Super Bowl champions since the Steelers' Kent Nix did it against the Packers back on December 17, 1967.

The Rams and Buccaneers have already matched or exceeded their win total from a year ago. The Lions, Chiefs and Redskins can accomplish the same feat this week.

Tom Brady has won 22 consecutive home games, which is tied for second all-time with John Elway. (Brett Favre holds the record with 25 consecutive home wins.)

The Lions actually lead the head-to-head franchise series against the Giants (20-18-1). The first game between the two franchises was on November 5, 1930, when the Lions were still called the Portsmouth Spartans. The Giants won 19-6.

There have been seven 400+ yard passing games so far this year. That's the most ever in league history through the first five weeks of the season.

Philip Rivers leads the NFL in passing yards (1759). The Chargers lead the NFL in most points scored (140). Yet the Chargers have won just two games.

Joe Flacco needs 147 passing yards to surpass Kyle Boller for most passing yards in Ravens franchise history -- which isn't saying a whole lot, I guess.

After months of research, I've concluded that Zing Zang bloody mary mix is the best on the market. That has nothing to do with football, but it is important to know.

Philip Rivers, Kyle Orton and Peyton Manning all have 1,600+ yards passing. That's the first time in NFL history three quarterbacks have reached that mark after just five games.

Charles Woodson is the only player in NFL history to return an interception for a touchdown in five consecutive seasons.

Bo$$ Hogg says he has no intention of firing head coach Wade Phillips "at this time." If I was Coach Phillips that would make me feel a LOT better.

Malcom Floyd knows how to move the chains: Of his 22 receptions this year, 21 of them have resulted in a first down.

This week's Falcons/Eagles match-up is something of a homecoming for Matt Ryan. He went to high school at William Penn Charter School in Philadelphia.

Darren McFadden needs 108 rushing yards to surpass his career high of 499 set in 2008. For someone originally billed as a "bigger, stronger, faster" version of Adrian Peterson, I'd say it's about damn time.

Randy Moss has never lost to the Dallas Cowboys.

Speaking of the Cowboys, Tony Romo's 406 passing yards in week 5 made him just the third Cowboys quarterback to pass for more than 400 yards in a game. Romo's big game was in a losing effort. Interestingly, the two Cowboy gun-slingers ahead of Romo, Don Meredith (460 yards) and Troy Aikman (455 yards), also played on the losing team.

Matt Forte has had a 150+ yard rushing game and a 150+ yard receiving game this season. Only four other players have done that in the same season since 1970.

The Ravens face the Patriots in the regular season for the sixth time in franchise history. They have never beaten New England in the regular season (0-5).

After five weeks of play, every team in the NFL has lost at least once. That has never happened since the AFL/NFL merger in 1970.

That Damn Sam's 11 Points of Light - Week 5

2010-10-12T12:25:00.000-05:00

That Damn Sam's 11 Points of Light - Week 5

1. The Bears' Todd Collins was 6 of 16 for 32 yards, 0 touchdowns and 4 interceptions, in what absolutely has to be the worst performance ever by a quarterback in a winning effort. Meanwhile, Philip Rivers passed for 431 yards and 2 touchdowns in a losing effort. No, life is not fair.

2. So much for that staunch Rams defense. The Lions shellacked them for 44 points. I did not see that coming.

3. Who would have ever guessed that a Brett Favre interception returned for a touchdown would cost the Vikings a football game? I just can't imagine Favre being so reckless with the football that he would do something crazy like fumble it or throw an interception.

4. Kyle Orton has now passed for 300+ yards in four consecutive games, tying a Broncos passing record set by that other great Broncos quarterback. ...I'm talking about Brian Griese, of course. (Yeah, seriously.)

5. This week's top three receiving leaders (Floyd, 213; Austin, 166; Lloyd 135) all played in losing efforts, believe it or not.

6. Just a quick question to all those fantasy gurus out there: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOUR PRECIOUS SLEEPER, KAREEM HUGGINS? Huggins has had one whopping carry for four yards this year. Thanks for the advice, experts.

7. You probably heard: the Raiders beat the Chargers for the first time since September 28, 2003. On that day, the Raiders fantasy leaders were Rich Gannon (348 passing yards, 3 TDs), Tim Brown (110 receiving yards, 1 TD) and Charlie Garner (70 rushing yards, 1 TD). Yep, it's been a while.

8. Last year Drew Brees threw just 11 interceptions. This season, he's already thrown five. Still don't believe in the Madden Curse??

9. Dear Brad Childress, you DO NOT waste a time-out in the fourth quarter because you can't decide whether to kick a PAT or go for a two point conversion when trailing by two points. That's poor game management and just piss-poor coaching.

10. I think the 49ers are very creative in the various ways they shoot themselves in the foot. They must work on that in practice.

11. One look says it all:

"Dag-nabbit."

On Why Baseball Annoys Me

2010-10-10T17:28:00.002-05:00

Here's a rare non-football entry, but it is sports-related and it's been on my mind.

The Twins' playoff "run" has come to a very anti-climactic and unceremonious ending at Yankee Stadium, being swept by the Yankees in three quick games. They've now lost to the Yankees nine straight times.

During Saturday's game three at Yankee Stadium, the Twins didn't even put up a fight, bowing to the mighty Yankee mystique. They have every reason to hang their heads and sulk. They should be ashamed of themselves.

Worse yet, the Twins have lost 12 consecutive post-season games. That's embarrassing. It seems once they won the division this season, they packed it in, knowing they'd have to play the Yankees and knowing they didn't have a shot. I think they were beat before the ALDS even started. I really thought the team was better than that. Obviously not.

Major League Baseball (i.e. Mr. Selig) is certainly happy about the outcome, though, and it only makes sense from a business standpoint. Do you want the league's cashcow to go deep in the playoffs or a small-market, backwater organization like the Twins to win the series?

And no, I'm not boo-hooing here. It is simply a fact. And it is everything that is wrong with MLB, and why professional baseball fails to capture my attention, passion and enthusiasm like football.

Don't get me wrong here, I like baseball. I played the game as a kid and really enjoyed it.

However, there are several things that I find disturbingly wrong with professional baseball and it starts with the Yankees.

The Yankees have the ability to knowingly and willingly outbid any other team in the league for any player available. Their pocketbook is bottomless. Their revenue is endless. And they undoubtedly have certain "ins" with league administration. The Yankees are larger than life.

As mentioned on Mike and Mike in the Morning, if it happens to the Yankees - good or bad - it's just bigger, gets far more attention and means more to baseball's front office.

It is wrong for the league to have a "teacher's pet" as it were, but that's how it is. And it's wrong.

Another failure of MLB, and something that drives me crazy, is this ridiculous self-imposed time warp -- the failure to use modern technology to improve the game.

Yeah, yeah, I understand the so-called "integrity" of the game. Evidently, the definition of "integrity" means to allow blown calls in baseball so that the talking heads on t.v. and radio stations have something to bitch about.

One baseball "pundit" on Mike and Mike (whose name I can't remember) said blown calls were "a part of the game" and the true test of a good baseball team is "taking advantage of second chances" when given the opportunity to do so.

Seriously? Come on... seriously? So why have rules in the first place?

I do not understand why MLB adamantly refuses to use instant replay more extensively. And don't tell me it is because it would make games too long. Give me a break! In the time it takes for a manager to argue with an umpire, kick dirt on him and get ejected from a game, the correct call could be made using irrefutable evidence based on instant replay.

And why doesn't MLB use a tracking system to call balls and strikes instead of relying on the inevitable human error of an umpire behind the plate?

TBS has a terrific system call PitchTrax, in which you have two computer-generated views of the delivered pitch: one looking directly at the plate with an outline of the strike zone and the other looking down at the plate highlighting the location of the pitch as it crosses the plate. The results are calculated within one second and are flawless. This eliminates human error altogether. I guess this solution is just too easy.

Furthermore, I think there should be a 20 second "pitch clock." The time elapsed from the moment ball touches the pitcher's glove to the moment it hits the catcher's mitt should not be more than 20 seconds. If it is, the call is an automatic "ball." If the batter asks for time out, the clock is reset to 20 seconds. This is more than reasonable and will speed up the feared "slowing down" of the game instant replay would introduce.

The sad truth is the catalyst for change in professional baseball would have to come in the form of a blown call which would end up costing the Yankees a pennant. I can guarantee you if such a mortal sin occurred, "modern" changes would be made very quickly by Mr. Selig to appease the Steinbrenners and the Mighty Yankee Empire.

That's sick, but true. And that's all I've got to say about that.

Football Fruit Salad - Week 5

2010-10-08T19:41:00.000-05:00

As we enter the second quarter of the NFL season, I thought I'd try something different here (in my never-ending quest to make the perfect football blog). I've rummaged through the NFL archives and stats, and I've come up with some interesting food for thought - let's call it a veritable "football fruit salad" - for you to chew on going into the week 5 match-ups. Let's take a look...

That Damn Sam's Football Fruit Salad!

Kyle Orton - yeah, Kyle freakin' Orton - is aiming for his fourth consecutive game with 300+ passing yards (307, 476, 341). He leads the NFL with 1,419 passing yards, which is the second-most through the first four games in league history. He is on pace for 5,700 passing yards on the season. Sheesh.

The Buccaneers are going for their sixth consecutive win against the Bengals.

The Browns and Falcons have faced each other 12 times and the Browns have won 10 of those match-ups. That kind of surprised me.

Shaun Hill starts against the Rams for the fourth time in his career. In his first three starts against them, he is a perfect 3-0.

Speaking of unbeaten, the Chiefs are shooting for their first 4-0 start since 2003, but they've got their work cut out for them: the Colts have beat them six of their last seven contests.

Donovan McNabb has defeated the Green Bay Packers four of his last five starts against them.

Fact: Chris Rose and Kurt Warner will be calling the Cardinals vs. Saints game on FOX. After watching rookie QB Max Hall in his first NFL start, Warner will be heard muttering under his breath "What the f*ck is he doing?" at least 12 times during the broadcast.

Frank Gore leads all running backs (by far) with 263 receiving yards.

The Rams defense have held their first four opponents to 17 or fewer points each. That's their best start since 1978. ...yes, I said the Rams defense.

Look out Cowboys, the Titans have defeated 11 consecutive NFC opponents.

Last Monday night, the Patriots were the first team ever to score touchdowns on an interception return, blocked field goal and kick-off return in the same game. This is the stuff that gets coaches fired.

Speaking of kick returns for touchdowns, there have been eight of them this year, the most ever through the first four weeks of an NFL season. This is the stuff that gets coaches fired.

Antonio Gates has had a touchdown catch in eight consecutive games (going back to 2009). That's the longest streak by a tight end in league history. Sorry, Tony Gonzalez.

Last week, Tony Gonzalez eclipsed 12,000 yards receiving - the first tight end in league history to do so. Sorry, Antonio Gates.

Philip Rivers has never lost to division rival Oakland Raiders (8-0).

Last week the 49ers scored a touchdown on a blocked punt. The last time they did that was in 1987. To a Niners fan, that also seems like the last time they've won a game.

Arian Foster is averaging 6.3 yards per carry - and that is not a skewed stat; he's carried the ball the third-most times in the league (85).

Monday night promises to be a historical one for Brett Favre. He needs one touchdown pass to be the only player league history to reach 500. He needs 74 passing yards to be the only player to ever reach 70,000 passing yards. And he needs just one more rendezvous with a discreet lady of the night to reach 1,294 extra-marital affairs in his career. Go get 'em, tiger.

Why I Could Be Burning in Hell Right Now

2010-10-06T22:13:00.000-05:00

Toward the end of the 2004 season, when it became obvious that Randy Moss would not be returning to the Vikings for an eighth season, my deepest, darkest fear was that he'd join forces with Brett Favre and the hated Packers. It sounded like a lethal combination, and I was relieved when Moss went to Oakland and out of the NFC.

I assumed the Vikings had seen the last of Moss, but the memories he left were great. Hey, anybody with the chutzpah to "moon" the Lambeau Field savages after scoring a touchdown during the playoffs will always have a soft spot in my heart.

So if you would have told me five years ago that some day Brett Favre and Randy Moss would be united on the same team, and that team would be the Minnesota Vikings, I would have bet my soul to Satan himself that such a thing would never, ever happen.

The hated Favre playing for the Vikings? The disgruntled Moss back to Minnesota? Puh-leez.

And that's why, as I've said many times on this blog, I'm not a betting man - because I could be burning in hell right now.

Even though both players are five years older, I think they will still be a difficult combination to defend. What's more, both of these guys have always wanted to play with each other. I remember the NFL Films segment where the Vikings were playing the Packers and Randy Moss got off the bench to watch a fourth quarter drive by the Packers, saying "I gotta see this. This is Brett Favre here. This is Brett Favre!"

Moss obviously has huge respect for his new quarterback and I think that has more significance than anyone might realize at this point.

And once again, Zygi Wilf is doing everything he can to make this team a champion. I really admire that.

Yet it comes down to this: money talks and bullshit walks - it has to get done on the field. The Vikings have got an extremely difficult schedule ahead of them. Nothing is going to be easy.

But I think Jared Allen spoke for all Vikings fans everywhere when, on ESPN's "PTI" show, he was asked for his immediate reaction on the Moss trade. Allen looked at the camera, raised his arms in the air and exclaimed, "Touchdown!"

I sure hope so, Jared. I sure hope so.

Please let it be true!

2010-10-05T19:32:00.001-05:00

There are more rumors in the NFL than in a 7th grade study hall, but this one might have legs: A deal is in the works to send Randy Moss back to Minnesota. This is just a rumor at the moment, but it makes sense in hindsight that Moss was not involved in New England's game plan last night. They either did not want him to get injured and screw up the deal or they wanted to see if they could pull it off without him.

Football Gods, please, PLEASE let this rumor be true. I would LOVE to see the original Freak back in Purple and Gold. Please come back Randy. Vikings fans still love you. Moss, despite his public image, is a good guy. He has come back to Minnesota every year to financially support his charity, which he founded as a Viking (and to do some good fishing on the side). I always respected him for that.

In a way, he never really left the Land of 10,000 Lakes. Time to come home Randy!!